


Driven

by mandylynn4



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jensen, Celebrities, Drunk Sex, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mpreg, Reverse Big Bang Challenge, Rimming, Sorry Not Sorry, Supernatural Reverse Big Bang Challenge 2014, Tom Welling is a douche, Top Jared, first big bang challenge ever so please don't hate me, mention of pregnancy loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 00:52:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3270635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandylynn4/pseuds/mandylynn4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared Padalecki is the star of television's hottest drama, "Drive."  Low profile and genuine good guy, he agrees to meet up at a local dive joint with a guest star, Christian Kane, who introduces him to his roommate, Jensen.  </p><p>Jensen Ackles is a hard-headed, driven musician with an entire stack of emotional baggage from dating an actor when he arrived in L.A.  He and Jared seem to hit it off right away, but can they make it last?</p><p>Written for the 2014 Reverse Big Bang Challenge, which is my very first BB ever.  Link to LJ post to follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I had intended this to be the minimum 3K words....but the boys refused to copulate if I didn't make some fluff happen first. Very argumentative Jensen didn't feel it was justified....stinker. So, this story is I guess what you'd call smut-lite. LOL
> 
> This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I base that in part because I wrote it in snippets and melded them together later. I usually get bored with a plot, even with an outline because I see end parts before I can even friggin' GET to the good stuff. So if things seem disjointed, I apologize. But the story was more fleshed out when I could write what was screaming to be written first....(not smut, dammit) I apologize for any bashing of Tom Welling I did...I don't know the man. Really. I have nothing against him, but he is a common character in J2 slash fics and I needed an antagonist. So, yay, Tom! :) I'm sure he's lovely in person. Of course, I'm also sure that J2 lives only in my fictional dreams...*sigh*
> 
> The SPN Fanficition Fangasm group was of much assistance during this process - plot bunny help, confidence boosters, and fic recs for inspiration....thanks, ladies!!! And I'm forever in debt to my beta, cappy712, who pulled out a great job in a very short time due to my procrastination.
> 
> And lastly, but certainly the driving force behind this story, is the wonderful etoile_etiolee who made the art that I selected for this piece. Sparked this story and I hope it doesn't disappoint. :)

 

"Next month - Halloween, actually, which is kind of amusing, considering that it’s our favorite holiday. Jen and I get really enthusiastic on the costume thing…I don't think he'll make it that far, though. The whole pregnancy's been pretty rough on him.”

Jared shifted uncomfortably on the overstuffed chair he was seated in, eyes darting from the bracelet on his wrist back to the reporter in front of him. He didn't ordinarily give answers to such personal questions that reporters (or fans for that matter) asked him, but the woman seated across from him seemed put together, honest, and came from People magazine.

It was probably the most reputable magazine to ever invite him to speak. Usually he got tabloids, fanzines, or trashy soap opera type gossip rags calling him. Not having a flashy giant wedding forced the paparazzi to scour the Internet for shoddy cell phone photos and second-hand accounts from guests with loose lips. But since the announcement of Jen's pregnancy was officially scooped (through a press conference with Jared’s agent) and his show had gotten picked up for the fifth season at the top spot on the Tuesday night lineup, he’d had more calls from legitimate news shows and magazines.

The reporter glanced down at her own notes. "Jensen's been having a difficult pregnancy?" She made a small notation with her pen, then looked up to him, face earnest.

Jared sighed. Jensen was going to kill him. "We've had our ups and downs with it. Believed miscarriage early on, terrible morning sickness, gestational diabetes, and then he had a trip to the ER with pre-term labor. He's confined to bedrest right now. Been stuck there for the past two months. He's going stir crazy, that's for sure."

The reporter smiled knowingly. "Doesn't like being cooped up, then?"

"Being stuck in the house doesn't phase him. He actually prefers it. In fact, that was a main point of contention between us for a while. It's hard to keep private lives separate from what you want the public to see. Away from the press, away from our jobs, away from the nosy people who want to control our lives…. It’s not really all that easy to live in the limelight, especially when you’re not what the public believes you to be.”

The reporter made sure that the red light on her tape recorder was glowing and settled in. It appeared that Jared Padalecki was about to give her the story of a lifetime.

“Let me start at the beginning…”


	2. Nice Bar...You Guys Hang Out Here A Lot?

Jared's eyes scanned the smoke-hazy room for the dark haired guest star who'd just wrapped an episode on his show. His show - ha! He'd still not gotten used to the fact that he was the main actor on one of the most highly rated TV dramas, “Drive.” He played taxi driver-slash-undercover narcotics officer who rode the line of ethics very sharply. He'd had three episodes of season 4 under his belt so far and the network was loving it. His agent was already in contract discussions to keep the show running for the next two years. And, introducing this season's endgame arc with Christian Kane filling the antagonist's spot was sure to drive up the ratings quite a bit for their least popular demographic. Christian had several dozen successful shows under his guest star belt, happy to hop from network to network and "get those panties to drop." Which is exactly what he did to drive up viewership in young women. Jared had to admit that it was an effective strategy.

 

Jared had agreed to meet up with Christian for some celebratory drinks at this local dive joint, somewhere that served good beer on draft and hot wings until midnight. Jared's kind of place was also Christian's kind of place - they both hailed from Texas and they had similar tastes in all sorts of things they'd discovered during the shooting of the episode. Christian also promised it to be low-key press and fan-wise, which was always a plus in Jared's books. He hated going out and having to hide with baseball hats and sunglasses, but he also hated going out and being mobbed by crowds of young women vying for photos or autographs. With the promise of an evening with few fans, he donned his favorite black beanie and headed out, telling Clif to take the night off.

 

He spotted Christian near the back of the bar, feet propped up on a low table, hands linked behind his long dark hair, knee bobbing to the beat of a rock song the live band was playing on stage. A small group of guests relaxed around the table - some drinking from bottles, some chatting animatedly with each other, some watching the band and tapping along.

 

One man in particular, who was seated directly beside Christian with an acoustic guitar on his lap, was absently letting his fingers find chords on the guitar that matched the music in the air. His face was furrowed in concentration - eyebrows knitted together, bottom lip pinned in place by straight, white teeth, cheeks tinged lightly with red to indicate that he'd had just enough to drink that he was feeling it. Jared took in the sight of this man, forgetting that he was at the bar to hang out with Christian and his friends. The man was simply beautiful - strong square jawline and bowed legs that accommodated the guitar on his lap. Jared felt the stirrings of attraction deep within his gut.

 

"Jared! Hey, man! Glad you made it! Come sit down!"

 

Jared startled when he heard Christian's voice ring out. He blushed just slightly, running a hand over the back of his neck before approaching his co-star. The man beside him looked up from the guitar, smiling lightly up at him and Jared's mouth went dry. Green eyes framed by thick, long lashes and the perfect twinkle.

 

"This is Jensen, my roommate," Christian said as Jared moved closer, indicating the green-eyed man to his side. Jensen moved the guitar off his lap, wiped his hand on his jeans, and offered it up for Jared to take. "Jensen's from Dallas, too. We grew up together. But don't expect him to swoon - man doesn't watch TV."

 

"How do you _not_ watch TV?" Jared smiled and grasped Jensen's hand - strong grip, warm fingers, just a slight callus evident on the fingertips.

 

Jensen gave his hand a short squeeze before letting go. "You know what they say: 2000 channels and nothing's on." At Jared's shy smile, he added, "more like I'm usually up to my eyeballs in work and books to get into anything good. Although, I have to say, I still might swoon." He flashed a toothy smile up at the taller man, letting his own eyes rake down Jared's body like a caress. "So where're you from then, if not Dallas?" He scooted over so there was room between him and Christian on the small couch.

 

"San Antonio's home for me," Jared replied, swallowing the nervous arousal the other man was eliciting from him.

 

"Fellow Texan. Always a pleasure." Something sparkled behind Jensen's eyes as he said it, but before Jared could fully analyze if it was flirting or not, the other man was patting the spot next to him. "Well come on then....have a seat." He leaned forward to catch Christian's attention. "Damn, man....you know any actors that aren't doubling as male models?"

 

Christian laughed. "This sonuvabitch? Not sure if he did any modeling in the past, but I guess you'll just have to ask him yourself. He gets a lot of attention from the ladies, I know. Hardly any of the chicks on set even looked at me."

 

Jared hid his blush by tugging off his beanie and smoothing down his shaggy hair. He felt Jensen's eyes on him as he shrugged out of his light jacket. It made him hyper-aware of every movement. He gazed up at Jensen through his eyelashes, smiling shyly at the smoldering look that was returned.

 

"Nobody wants to look at your ugly ass, anyway, Chris," Jensen teased. "Not when tall, dark, and gorgeous is in the room. Those chicks have taste.” He looked back at Jared, flirtatious smirk gracing his lips. “Any of them your girl?"

 

Jared shook his head. "I dated a girl on set my first year working. Not a good idea. Best to keep work at work and not let it bleed into your personal life." He cleared his throat, glanced around the group of people nearby, pitching his voice low so that just Jensen and Chris could possibly hear. "Besides, not really looking for a girl right now."

 

"Is that because you're too busy? Just not interested? Or..." Jensen leaned closer to him, looking up through his eyelashes. Jared licked his lips, subconsciously leaning closer as well. "Looking for a man, Jared?" A tingle of arousal shot through Jared’s body. He let out a puff of air, closing his eyes to cut the tension a bit.

 

"Awww, you're making him blush, Jenny," Christian laughed. To Jared, he said, "be careful with this one - he's a flirt when he's had a few."

 

Jensen smiled and leaned back. "I'm a flirt when I see someone worth flirting with, Chris."

 

"Shut up. Once you sober you're going to be mortified at your own behavior, even if you do want to get in Jared's pants." When Jared blanched, Chris rolled his eyes. "Truth be told, Jenny here's pretty reserved. I've only ever seen him this forward one time and-"

 

"Don't bring that up," Jensen hissed at his friend. When Jared's head whipped around to look at him, he blushed. "It was at a baby shower for someone Chris knows and the guy was eye fucking me all day. Not my fault I was given too many mimosas and not enough cake to even it out."

 

Chris laughed, standing up and stretching. "Nuh-uh, Jensen. You don't get off that easy." To Jared, he stage whispered, "He was hitting on the father-to-be. Who apparently didn't look eight months pregnant to this dumbass. And he had severe heartburn, which is what Jensen here mistook for 'eye fucking'." Jared's mouth flew open in a delighted laugh and Jensen slapped a hand over his face. "Isn't that cute?" Christian crooned. "Now he's even redder than he was after he found out that information himself. I'm gonna go grab another round, you want?"

 

Jared nodded and watched Christian make his way to the bar. Jensen groaned, face in his hands. "Kill me now."

 

Jared chuckled. "Nah, that'd be a waste. Besides....it's adorable."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah," Jared smiled, ducking his head shyly.

 

Beside him, Jensen leaned far back on the sofa, stretching his arms well up over his head. Jared tried not to stare at the peak of tanned skin that appeared between worn denim and cotton Henley, instead picking at invisible lint on his beanie. It wasn't often that he felt shy around another person, but Jensen was stirring up all sorts of emotions inside of him. He cleared his throat. "Nice bar," he commented. "You guys hang out here a lot?"

 

Jensen snorted. "Is that like you asking if I come here often?" One eyebrow quirked up and he smirked. This time, Jared couldn't hide his blush.

 

"N-no. That's not what I-I mean...."

 

Jensen laughed lightly, clapping a hand on Jared's shoulder. "No worries, man. Chris and I come here whenever we need a little bit of back home. Cold beer, mellow crowd, no paparazzi for Mr. BigShot over there and no chance of running into any of the jerks I share cubicle space with....easy place to just be. I was just kidding you." He smiled genuinely up at the taller man, nodding as Christian returned with beers. Both men took one and Jared had to look away when Jensen took a long pull. Those lips curled around the mouth of the bottle, throat working as he drank - Jared coughed. Jensen slapped him on his back twice, smirking.

 

"You alright there, hoss?"

 

"Yeah. Yeah...." Jared's face flushed warm as he took another drink. Maybe he should have eaten something before coming out…

 

Jensen laughed lightly, hand sweeping long across Jared's back, then lingering low near his belt before dropping away. Jared felt his body respond instantly. He took another long drink and pulled one leg up over the other as casually as possible. When he looked back at Jensen, he knew the other man had caught on. One eyebrow was raised in amusement. Thankfully, though, Jensen took pity on him and settled back on the sofa, relaxed. "Chris says you're the lead on that show he got a part on? Bet you get a lot of nothing done with that guy on set..."


	3. I'm Not A Virgin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herein lies the smut....(feel free to skip if it doesn't float your boat)

"I've been wanting to kiss you for days," Jensen slurred slightly, pulling Jared inside the apartment and slamming the door shut behind them with his foot. He lost his footing slightly, but righted himself quickly with a hand on the entryway wall. The guitar case he'd been holding thumped to the floor noisily.

Jared laughed lightly, grasping at the nearest belt loop on Jensen’s jeans to make sure the shorter man didn’t topple over completely. "Really? Days?"

Jensen nodded. He let his hand slide up Jared’s arm, pulse pounding at their closeness. He leaned forward and sucked a sloppy kiss on the taller man’s neck. His teeth grazed the skin, just on the good side of pain. Jared shuddered. 

"Jensen....you've only known me for a few hours."

"Fine. I've been wanting to kiss you for hours, then. Doesn't matter....just want...."

Jared tipped Jensen's face upwards and slid their lips together, tongue already teasing at Jensen's plush bottom lip to gain entrance. Jensen complied eagerly. Both men tasted of the whiskey shots Christian had insisted they take before leaving the bar, hands already wandering as they made their way into a cab pointed towards Jensen's apartment. Christian assured them that the brunette he'd been chatting with all evening was more than receptive to an overnight guest and not to wait up, winking as they clambered up off the sofa to leave. The taxi ride was full of sexual tension, neither man wanting to touch the other for fear of getting kicked out onto the curb for indecent exposure. As soon as they hit Jensen and Christian's apartment, though, all bets were off.

Now, Jensen's hands came up to pull off Jared's beanie and rake through the mess of chestnut hair underneath. Tugging lightly, he earned a small moan from the taller man. The beanie fell to the floor soundlessly. "Fuck, you're gorgeous," Jensen whispered, eyes raking over Jared's face and body. When his eyes returned to Jared’s though, a look of concern laced the edges of green. "Tell me you've done this before."

Jared laughed. "I'm not a virgin, Jensen. I'm twenty-eight years old for God's sake."

Jensen gave him a pointed look. "I mean, with a guy. Not really looking to be someone’s gay experiment here.”

"Oh." Jared's mind raced with random thoughts of men in his past: a fellow basketball player in high school who gave him a hand job in the empty locker room after practice, a couple drunk frat boys at a hazing party in college who took turns blowing him, the first creepy ass agent he had that insisted he'd find better work for him in LA if he just let him rub off on him...All things he hadn't announced to anyone because they were especially mundane and hadn't gone farther than one or two occurrences. And while he hadn't exactly went 'bottoms up' for anyone ever, he wasn't averse to the notion and he certainly had enough experience on the giving end of sex, both with a woman and a man. He shrugged. "Depends on what we're doing here."

Jensen pulled away from his task of nibbling on Jared's neck to look up at him. His eyes were dark with want. "Well, I plan on getting you undressed so I can see what you're hiding under there. Then, I want to taste every inch of your skin. And finally, if you're feeling up to it, I want to ride you until your knees buckle. Sound good?"

Jared's answer was to surge forward and claim Jensen's mouth with his. He pressed Jensen against the front entryway’s wall, hands grasping at slim hips and weaving their way under the dark Henley. He stroked along the smooth skin underneath, delighting in hearing the whimpers against his own lips as they continued to kiss. Jensen’s tongue was sloppy slick against his, wet but satisfying. One hand ventured across the toned expanse of back so he could tug their hips together. He hissed when their bodies made contact in the most intimate of areas. 

“Fuck,” Jensen murmured into his mouth, voice raspy from equal parts liquor and arousal. “My room.” He grabbed for Jared’s hand and propelled them both forward, drunkenly staggering through the darkened hallway towards his bedroom door. Once there, he shoved the door open with the flat of his hand and pulled them both inside. 

Jared, momentarily shaken from his excitement by the sudden brightness of the overhead light, took a minute to take in his surroundings. The bed was neatly made, half a dozen dark blue pillows stacked artfully across the headboard. There was a small black desk in one corner with minimal clutter, and two sturdy floor-to-ceiling bookcases in another. The floor was devoid of mess – even the trashcan and hamper in the room were tidy. 

Jensen hurried over to the closet door and pulled it shut, also seeming to have sobered a bit with the flick of the light switch. “’Scuse the mess. Haven’t been home much lately. Between work and gigs...”

Jared choked out a laugh. “Seriously? This is quite possibly the cleanest bachelor pad I’ve ever seen.” He nodded his head towards another adjoining door, assuming it was the bathroom. “Betcha I could eat off your bathroom’s floor.”

The older man laughed nervously, then tumbled over to the door muttering an apology. The light inside clicked on and the door shut quickly, but Jared could hear Jensen cursing and water running through the thin door. He chuckled and continued his casual perusal of the room.

A few photographs caught his attention, tacked to a corkboard near the doorway: one of a younger Jensen and Christian at a party, a teenage girl hugging a dog and showing off a mouth full of braces, an older couple who quite possibly were Jensen’s parents, a man who looked vaguely like Jensen sitting with what appeared to be a wife and two children. The corkboard was also home to some random ticket stubs from music events around town, phone numbers scrawled on notebook paper and bar coasters, and a sketch of an album cover boasting Jensen’s name across a boat. It was probably the most disorderly part of the room and Jared felt his face ease into a smile at the hominess of it. 

Jensen emerged from the bathroom sheepishly, tossing a rumpled towel into the hamper as he passed. His face seemed freshly scrubbed and he handed a small plastic cup of water to Jared. “I don’t usually do this,” he admitted. He sat down on the rolling chair that accompanied the desk and ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Obviously.”

“I don’t either,” Jared reassured, taking a drink of the cool water he was offered. “Pretty sure the last time I even ventured to think about going home with someone I just met I was around 18 and new to the city.” He shuddered at the memory of that evening gone sour. “Everyone else has been a committed relationship. With a woman. Which I haven’t been in for at least a year. Wow, I’m talking too much, aren’t I?” When Jensen didn’t respond, he cleared his throat and placed the tumbler on top of the nearby dresser. “We don’t have to…uh….”

“No…uh…I mean….,” Jensen started, standing up suddenly. He crossed the room until he was standing in front of Jared, sharing breath with him. He seemed to swallow his nerves. “I want to. If you still…”

Jared yanked Jensen flush with him, dimples appearing around his smile. He took a deep inhale near the shorter man’s neck, breathing in the spicy scent of cologne and the faint trace of mouthwash. “Oh, I do, darlin’,” he whispered. Jensen’s body trembled beneath his hands. “God, but I do.” He mouthed at Jensen’s skin, latching on at a spot just beside the Henley’s neckline and sucking a light bruise there. 

“Yeah,” the other man sighed, arms coming up to pull Jared’s head closer. “Fuck, yeah.”

Jared backed towards the bed, stumbling a bit over his own clumsy feet, leading Jensen forward by his hips. Once his knees hit the mattress, he sat easily. He toed his sneakers off while Jensen leaned down to tug off his boots and socks. The shorter man swung one bowleg up onto the bed. He leaned close to Jared, kissing him thoroughly as he kneeled above his waist. The warmth of his body hovered above Jared’s crotch and teased him. “This okay?” 

“No,” Jared huffed. At Jensen’s confused expression, he grasped his hips firmly and drew him down onto his lap completely. Both men exhaled noisily at the sensation. “You’re not close enough,” Jared explained. He licked his way back into Jensen’s mouth, rocking his hips up to feel the other man’s length against his own. 

Jensen moaned, then countered the thrust with his own slow grind against Jared. He dragged the thick seam of his jeans across Jared's hardness, the friction delicious even beneath four layers of clothing. Jared gripped Jensen's ass, fingers pressing hard enough to bruise. 

"You like that?" Jensen panted. He dropped a sloppy kiss on Jared's stubbly chin, repeating the grinding action. 

"Yeah," Jared responded, tugging the shorter man closer by his ass. "Would be better with less clothing," he added. 

Jensen nodded and tucked his fingers up under Jared's shirt to pull it off. Once the cotton was flung onto the floor, forgotten, Jensen's eyes raked over the long tanned expanse of naked skin in front of him. Slightly sculpted abs and pecs rested above a trail of tawny brown hair, leading down behind a thick belt and stiff denim. Jared's hair fluffed up in all directions, clinging to his neck and face in spots. Jensen reached out and brushed the hair away with reverence. "Gorgeous," he whispered.

"Now you," Jared said, voice husky, hands returning to their spots on Jensen's jeans.

Jensen complied, sliding his shirt up and off, tossing it behind him. Jared sucked in a gasp of air through his nose. "Perfect," he whispered. "Fucking perfect." Jensen's torso wasn't as tanned as Jared's, but the light definition of muscle proved that he worked out frequently and had a very strong core. Freckles dotted his shoulders and chest, which indicated summers spent in the Texas sun. Jared traced a line of them with the soft tip of one finger. 

He leaned forward and sucked one brown nipple between his lips, tongue flicking over it until it stood firm in his mouth. Above him, Jensen squeaked in surprise, then exhaled noisily against Jared's hair. 

"Jesus," he huffed as Jared repeated the treatment of his tongue on the other nipple. His back arched to allow for more of his chest to be suckled, grinding motion of his hips stalled momentarily. "Oh, dear God..."

Jared smiled against Jensen's skin. "Oh, darlin', if you're already giving thanks to the deities, you're in for a real treat." He pressed upwards with his hips, allowing their cocks to grit across each other through denim. Another pass of their cocks together caused him to feel a spot of wetness forming on his boxers. He ground their cocks together harder, fingers reaching out and stroking over the back of Jensen's jeans. When Jensen stopped shuddering, he nuzzled behind his ear and whispered, "Let's find out what other talents my tongue's acquired."

Jensen nearly fell off his lap as he scrambled backwards to get his pants off. Jared chuckled lightly. "Easy, baby. Don't want you gettin' hurt now. Not before the main event." He unbuckled his own belt and jeans while Jensen fought his own nearby. It wasn't quite as smooth as he was sure the other man believed he could be, but Jared, too, was feeling the warm wooziness of the liquor they'd shared catching back up to him. He tugged his pants and socks off, looking up as he paused with his thumbs hooked in his boxers. Jensen was watching him with intent, naked as he day he was born. 

His thick cock jutted out from his body proudly, head red and glistening with a thin layer of wetness. It pulsed in time with Jensen's heartbeat and Jared felt his own grow impossibly harder at the sight. "Christ, darlin'," he sighed. 

He pulled his own cock free of his boxers, dropping them off the side of the bed to land with his jeans and socks. He heard Jensen gasp as he settled back on the bed. Jared smiled and offered a hand to him. "Come on up here." 

Jensen crawled up beside Jared, one hand slowly moving forward and resting low on Jared's stomach. Jared's hips thrust up instinctively, trying to get that hand lower where it was needed. 

"It's been a while," Jensen admitted, stroking a single finger through the wiry patch of curls at the base of Jared's cock. Jared hissed at the soft touch, belly clenching with a surge of desire. "And you are definitely more than I imagined."

"That's a good thing, right?" Jared breathed. He groaned as Jensen's hand wormed its way around his length, tight and warm and perfect. 

"Hell yeah." 

Jared's chuckle died on his lips and was replaced by a breathy whine as Jensen's tongue licked a stripe from base to tip and fluttered around the sticky mess at the slit. His lips parted around the bulbous head and he suckled ever so gently, coaxing more pre-cum onto his tongue. He smirked when the tip of his tongue stroked over the sensitive spot beneath and Jared’s hips stuttered as he tried to keep from thrusting deep into Jensen’s mouth. 

“Jensen,” Jared gasped, head pressing so hard into the pillow beneath it that it enveloped his ears and muffled the sloppy sounds of Jensen’s mouth on him. His fingers creaked as they grasped the comforter below him. Jensen went lower, lips and tongue meeting his fist halfway down Jared’s shaft. “Oh, yeah….just like that…”

Jensen hummed in appreciation, sending vibrations through Jared’s body and making him keen. His cock twitched violently inside its warm, wet cavern. His eyes flickered shut to stave off his orgasm. He felt Jensen’s hand speed up and his mouth tighten around him. Spit slicked the way for both and distantly, he sensed it dripping down past his shaft, gathering on his balls. “That’s so good, baby….so fuckin’ good…”

Jensen’s mouth wavered, then slid off with a pop. Jared looked down to see why he’d stopped the perfection he’d been enjoying. “What-“

“Fuck,” Jensen swore, kneeling up on the bed and scrabbling to wrap a hand around the base of his own cock. He used his other hand, which was still glistening with his own spit, to tug his balls down sharply. His breaths came short and ragged through plump wet lips, chest heaving and eyes closed tightly. “Shit, man, I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s been a very long time since I’ve…”

Jared felt more slick pump out across his belly at the image before him. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “That’s the hottest thing ever.” He leaned up on his elbows to wait for the other man’s breathing to slow down.

Finally, Jensen skimmed his hands down his own thighs and rested them there, squeezing the muscle as he took a few more gulps of air. "Sexy, I know," he joked. His cheeks stayed flushed and his eyes were bright. 

"You are," Jared crooned, reaching up and snagging the other man by the waist. He hauled him flush to his body, rocking up when their cocks bumped against each other. He allowed them to rut together for a few moments before twisting them both on the bed so he could be above Jensen. 

"Fuckin' sexy," he panted into Jensen's ear. "But I want to explore all the sexy parts of your body, baby. Every. Square. Inch." He punctuated each word with a wet kiss down Jensen's chest. He lapped lazily at a peaked nipple, enjoying the tiny mewl of pleasure his lover emitted. 

Slowly, he traced a path down Jensen's torso with his tongue. When he reached the thick, wet head of Jensen's cock, he scooped up a layer of slick with the tip of his tongue. Jensen's cock jerked and produced more wetness and Jared couldn't help but groan. "Fuck, baby, you taste amazing."

He set to work ridding the hard flesh of the salty syrup that dribbled out of the slit. Jensen's body was unable to be still, twitching and undulating at the assault. Jared grinned up at him, mouth wet and pink, as he made an impossibly tight ring with his fingers around the base of Jensen's cock. He began licking up another blurt of precum from the head. "Told you I was gonna show you what other things my tongue could do." He swooped down lower, mouth tenderly closing around Jensen's balls. His tongue laved spit across the wrinkled flesh before he applied the gentlest of suction. 

Jensen keened, back arching sharply. "Oh, God, fuck," he yelled out. The fingers at the base of his cock tightened just enough to bring him back from the brink. "Jesus, Jared....what the fuck..."

Jared pulled off the sensitive flesh slowly, lightly dragging his top teeth across. "Not enjoying yourself?" 

Jensen let out a sharp, dry laugh, covering his eyes with one arm. "Maybe enjoying myself a little too much," he admitted. "You sure you haven't been with a guy in a while?"

"I wouldn't lie to you, Jensen," Jared murmured before pressing a soft kiss to the inside of the other man's thigh. 

"Bet you say that to all the people you bed," Jensen replied, voice only half teasing. 

Jared raked his teeth delicately across the juncture between leg and groin, satisfied when Jensen gasped and looked down at him. "No. I don't make a habit of lying as a rule. And it's especially true for those few people that I know intimately. You deserve better than fake bullshit." He gently spread Jensen's legs apart, working his way down the bed farther. He blew a light breath over the spit slicked skin he'd just sampled. "And I'm definitely not lying when I say that I am one lucky son of a bitch right now, being here with you." 

He pressed Jensen's knees upwards so he could finally see the puckered opening to his body. It fluttered under his attention, pink and musky scented. He flicked his tongue out over it and felt it jerk beneath his touch. Above him, Jensen whined, grasping the covers with his fists. 

"Gonna need to ask this before I get really started," Jared murmured, tasting Jensen's skin again. "You have lube and condoms, right?"

"Yeah," Jensen panted, bending over the bed quickly to dig through the nightstand drawer. "Here." He flipped a tall bottle of lubricant and a condom onto the covers. "Might want to check the date on that condom, though. I'm not sure how long that's been in there."

Jared turned it over in his palm, staring down at the little numbers etched into the foil. "We're good, although it's a near miss," he laughed. He curled his arms around Jensen's thighs, scooting him back down to his mouth. "Now....let's find out how loudly you can scream."

He began devouring Jensen's hole, tongue parting the entrance with quick jabs and long swipes inward. He let the drool in his mouth seep out onto the area and soon, it was shining with spit. He pushed harder with his shoulders so Jensen was nearly bent in half above him, then pulled the skin around the hole tight with his hands. 

Jensen squealed as Jared's tongue speared inside of him brutally, thrusting with a fast pace. Each one went deeper until he felt Jared's lips flush with his hole. The tongue inside him made a slow rotation, hitting several spots inside that he hadn't known were so sensitive. He keened and rocked down against the intrusion. 

Jared chuckled dirtily against his skin, causing the other man to undulate more against his face. Little gasps and moans left the other man's lips, but Jared wasn't satisfied. Reluctantly, he pulled his mouth away. "You can do better than that," he teased. He reached for the lube, letting a copious amount dribble over the spit soaked hole and two of his fingers. The pucker closed tightly at the colder sensation.

"Oh, FUCK," Jensen groaned when he felt one slender finger breech his entrance. It slid in deeply, filling him just enough to cause that strange feeling of invasion. Jared twisted it inside of him and brushed along his walls. "Yeah," he breathed out. His own hands came down to grab behind his knees, holding them out of the way so Jared could continue.

Jared shifted up on his knees, pumping his finger into Jensen carefully, gauging his responses as he moved it within him. When he saw the other man's cock leap and blurt more precum, he slid a second finger inside with the first. 

Jensen's body tensed under the new sensation, and on hand came down to lock around Jared's wrist. "Slow," he panted, holding him still. He shut his eyes tightly, breathing through the foreign feeling until it wasn't so uncomfortable anymore. He released Jared's wrist, but reminded him, "Just....go real slow."

Fingers slid almost completely out, slow and long and perfect, before ratcheting back inside and twirling just so. They brushed delicately across that bundle of nerves inside and caused Jensen's hips to cant forward sharply. He gasped as he rode the sensation. 

"Right there, huh, darlin'?" Jared smirked, crooking his fingers again. "Yeah, that's the spot." He scissored his fingers, letting one continue rubbing along Jensen's prostate while he eased the other man's hole open further. He dumped another dollop of lube inside and smeared it around generously. 

Suddenly, Jensen's hips jerked, sending Jared's fingers deep inside him. "Shit, FUCK!" He released his legs and clamped both hands firmly over his balls, tugging. "You're gonna fuckin' kill me." His cock leapt and thrummed against his stomach. "I can't....just....can you just fuck me already?"

Jared breathed deeply, inhaling the thick scent of sex, musk, and sweat in the air with his eyes closed. His own cock jumped in anticipation. "Yeah," he agreed, shakily. "Yeah, darlin', I can."

He fumbled for the foil packet near Jensen's hip and tore into it as efficiently as his shaking hands could. He tugged the other pillow from the head of the bed down and jammed it beneath Jensen's hips so he had a better angle. He sheathed himself in latex, poured a thick amount of lube on top of him, shuffled forward, and pressed the head of his cock to Jensen's twitching hole. 

He took another breath, hands holding Jensen open just so, then began sliding inside. Granted, he'd not been active sexually for nearly a year, but he was sure that he'd never before felt the perfection that was the inside of Jensen's body. He paused halfway through his initial thrust to judge Jensen's reaction. 

Below him, the other man's neck was bowed back, tendons straining against tanned flesh. His teeth were clenched tightly over his lower lip, skin white where they bit in and held. Sweat dotted his forehead like the freckles on his face and he was panting out breaths at an alarmingly fast rate. Looking down, Jared noticed that his cock had flagged slightly, and he frowned. 

"Am I hurting you?" he asked, genuinely concerned. He lifted a hand to stroke at the soft skin of Jensen's hip. "Because I'm okay with what we were doing before if I'm hurting..."

"No!" Jensen's eyes flew open, startled and wild. "Don't you fuckin' stop now," he hissed. 

Jared felt the body underneath his start to relax, his cock sliding inside farther without him moving at all. He went with the glide, finally bottoming out and trembling with the force of staying still. The warm tunnel gripped him and squeezed in perfection. He groaned, leaning forward on his hands, bracing above Jensen's body. "I'm not gonna stop if you don't want me to. But I'm waiting until you're ready..."

Jensen gave him a weak smile, one hand snaking down to grip his near flaccid cock. He stroked down it twice, wincing as his hole clenched around Jared again. "You're so fuckin' big, man," he laughed. "Jesus Christ on a crutch, but you're big."

"Flatterer."

"I'm not lying either," he responded. He experimentally rocked his hips up, shuddering as Jared's cock hit far inside him. "Son of a bitch, that's good."

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

Jared made a tiny push forward, relishing the tight ripple that went over his cock, then slid out as slowly and smoothly as he could. "Oh, darlin'," he crooned, thrusting back in with care. "I don't know how slow I can keep this. So tight and perfect..."

"Do it, then." Dark green eyes, nearly covered with black bore into his. "Fuck me."

Jared heard the needy whine before he realized it came from him, hands gripping Jensen's hips and shoving forward with a strong thrust. The pillow crushed beneath the two of them as he began a steady pace. He tilted his hips with each thrust, seeking out the right angle.

A few minutes later, Jensen's back arched and his hand fell away from his cock. "Oh, holy shit," he cursed. "There....there...right fucking there..."

Blood started to fill Jensen's cock, making it plump before Jared's eyes. He swatted away Jensen's movement towards it. "Mine," he growled. He gripped the other man's cock, feeling that his hand was still tacky with leftover lube. He slid it up to the head, twisted slightly, then began a punishing rhythm. 

Jensen howled as he was bombarded by pleasure - cock pounding into his prostate solidly and giant paw of a hand moving back and forth on his own dick. He moaned as his cock fattened completely. His hands scrabbled for purchase on Jared's sweat-slick biceps. "God, yeah....fuck me, Jared...yeah..."

Jensen felt the pinch of Jared's fingers pressing into his hipbones with each thrust. That was going to leave a mark in the morning... He felt his hole twitch and his cock leak more fluid at the thought. Something about having a reminder of this moment, about being marked up by this beautiful man, made his arousal soar. 

Jared leaned forward, letting the friction of his hand and his body work Jensen's cock. The other man was making the softest, neediest sound he'd ever heard. His heart pounded in time with his hips. "Fuck, Jen, I'm gettin' close." He tucked his face up to Jensen's collarbone, letting his tongue swipe up a bit of sweat from the skin there. 

Jensen's hole contracted again, and he began to scream as Jared's teeth sunk into the flesh at his collar, biting just on the side of pain. The realization that he'd have teeth marks there sent Jensen over the edge and he dug his fingernails into the other man's arms as he came.

As his cock exploded between them, he felt Jared's hips stutter and stop. From inside his body, he felt the spasms of the larger man's cock emptying itself into the condom. He held on tightly to Jared's arms and allowed the orgasm to rush through his body. 

"Damn," Jared wheezed above him, arms starting to shake from exertion. "That was....yeah..." He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Jensen's lips. 

Jensen sighed, letting his arms fall away so Jared could roll over. "Agree." He winced at the ache between his legs, but smiled as the warm afterglow flowed over his body. The liquor was definitely catching up to him, as he felt comfortably exhausted.

Jared grinned at him, dimples in full force. "Best way to end the day." He stretched his arms over his head, then swung off the bed to discard the condom. Jensen made an unintelligible noise. Jared chuckled. "Wear you out, huh, darlin'?"

Jensen nodded sleepily, sliding the pillow loose from under his hips before curling up on the one under his head. Jared tugged the covers up over the other man's body. He stood back to admire the planes of his shoulders. "Gonna sleep then?"

"Can stay if you want," Jensen grunted, partially muffled by the pillow. 

He wanted to wait for a reply, but the warmth and plushness of the bed overcame him and he let the alcohol and physical release drift him into slumber.


	4. Tell Me You Did Not Just Blow Off Jared Padalecki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen realizes he actually went through with a one-night stand....and freaks out a little....

The cell phone rang out loudly, startling Jensen and sending his head into a dull throb. The song that came from the speakers reminded him that Chris had confiscated his phone briefly at the bar last night, giggling when he gave it back. No matter how much he loved Chris, he was not appreciative of "Red Solo Cup" as a means to waking up with a hangover. 

Jensen glared at the phone with his one open eye. A number he didn't recognize flashed across the screen, so he swatted at it, blindly pressing the ignore button. Once the silence had been restored, he sighed in bliss and snuggled deeper into his bedding. 

He had just started drifting off again when his phone let out a cheerful (preprogrammed thankfully) tone to announce that he'd received a text message. A glance showed the same strange number as the sender. 

"What the hell," he grumbled, snagging the phone from its spot on the nightstand and pulling it down to his cozy nest of rumpled sheets. He refused to move more than necessary to send a scathing reply to the idiot who was waking him up. He peeked out at the alarm clock and was surprised to see that it was actually close to noon and that the tumbler from his bathroom was filled with water, sitting next to two aspirins. His head gave a sharp twinge behind one eye - he almost never slept this late, even when he wanted to. And he knew he hadn't gotten up for water....had he? Swiping the texting app open with his thumb, he frowned quizzically at the message.

*hey, Jensen this is Jared from last night*

Jensen felt his headache worsen and his stomach tighten as fuzzy memories of the taller man came rushing back with force. Jared was pretty much exactly his type - tall, broad shouldered but trim like a swimmer or a runner, long fingers, which meant more than adequate body parts southward. He'd have had to be blind not to be into Jared, but Jensen's own blatant flirting at the bar and his wanton actions afterwards sent a flush of embarrassment to his face, burning and tingling the skin on his cheeks. A peek down into his covers confirmed that he had fallen asleep naked and, if nothing else, he'd had one hell of a wet dream. The bed reeked and now that he was fully conscious, he felt the uncomfortable scratch of stiff spots on his bedding. 

He frowned. That was not how he normally reacted to a pretty face he'd only just met, regardless of how much he wanted the other person. Usually, Jensen was the type to play it safe - keep his feelings guarded and his arousal at a low temperature around others. He was actually quite shy when it came to dating and could count the number of people he'd gotten intimate with on one hand. He was extremely careful ever since Tom...

Chris, however, found it utterly amusing to feed Jensen whiskey to allow the more outgoing side of his friend to come out. Jensen clearly recalled taking a couple of shots that Chris had handed him, mischievous glint in his eye. He had to remember to exact some sort of revenge for this mess he was in now....Before he could puzzle out what exactly he wanted to do about Chris, the phone sent out another happy ring as another message came across the screen. 

*I just wanted to say thanks and that I had a great time. Wish I could've been there to say it in person, but duty calls. This is my personal cell, so no excuses from you if I don't hear back. Later*

"What the hell?" Jensen groaned, flopping over onto his back and then wincing at the dull throb that came from his ass. His eyes widened and the breath left his body in shock. "Oh, no..."

~*~  
A couple hours and one long, hot shower later, Jensen had resigned himself to sulking on his sofa and staring blankly at the television. He'd actually had a one-night stand with the hottest guy he'd seen in a long time. He'd had a drunken hook-up with an actor on a popular television show. He'd....completely lost himself and all of his control and allowed his life to become some strange copy of everyone in his life he never wanted to be. At least he'd discovered the remains of the evening tied up in the trashcan, so no need to rush off to the store for an emergency set of pills. He shuddered at the thought. He wondered what Jared would think about it if something like that were to happen...

He looked down at his cell phone, open to the messages he'd received earlier in the day. He'd added the number to his contact list in a rush of romanticism, as if he'd use it in the future....Vaguely, he heard the sound of the front door to the apartment open and close. 

"Hey, Ackles? You alive? And what the hell is this?" Christian came out of the front hallway and into the living room, holding a thin piece of dark leather in his hand. 

Jensen quickly shuffled his phone down between his legs, ears burning at the thought that Chris could tell what the texts said. Then he smiled tiredly at his roommate. Chris had obviously been out all night from the looks of it. His dark hair was combed up in a short ponytail and his clothes looked slept in. Jensen shifted gingerly on the couch to let his roommate sink down next to him, looking over at the item in his hand with passive interest. "Where'd that come from?"

"It was in the hallway on the floor." Chris turned it over in his palm, then held it out to Jensen to take. "Looks like some sort of rope thing..."

Jensen took it, held it up to his face closely, and then closed his eyes tightly. "It's a bracelet," he said, voice gritty from liquor and lack of sleep. At Chris's raised eyebrow, he continued. "Jared's. It must have came off when we were...."

Christian laughed gleefully and clapped one hand on Jensen's shoulder. "You're shitting me! Ackles got some action? Hell yes, dude! I wondered when I saw y'all leave in that cab looking all cozy, but I figured you'd keep those pants firmly on. Jesus. And with this bracelet being here means he has an excuse to come back. Looks like you've got yourself an admirer."

Jensen moaned as his headache returned full force. "Here," he said, handing the leather back to Chris. "Take it to the studio when you go next. I'm not sure I can look at him again."

"That bad, huh?" Chris teased, elbow sharply jabbing at his ribs. At Jensen's look, he waggled his eyebrows. "Oh, that good then....damn. It’s always the quiet ones."

At that moment, Jensen's phone began singing about plastic drinkware again. Chris laughed, asking why he hadn't already changed the ringtone back yet, and in his embarrassment, Jensen fumbled with the phone. It thumped to the floor, showing Jared's name proudly on screen and before Jensen could retrieve it, Chris had swiped it up. "Holy shit, man! He's calling you! Talk about sealing the deal!" He flicked his thumb across the screen to answer it, one hand batting Jensen's urgent hands away from the phone. "Why howdy, Mr. Padalecki! And how are you on this fine morning?"

Jensen sunk down into the couch cushions, one hand covering his eyes as if that could stop the chaos his love life was just about to explode into. He couldn't hear Jared's voice on the other end, so he was forced to listen to the one sided conversation. Chris's voice was syrupy sweet and full of Texas twang as he relaxed on the couch, eyes on Jensen.

"Well Jensen's sitting right next to me on the couch, looking like he had one helluva night. You know anything about that?....I wasn't home until about five minutes ago......oh, come on now, Jaybird, don't play the innocent card with me. I see how red this boy's ears are gettin' and I do believe he indicated that he had a right fabulous night last night....oh, really? Man, I'm not the press. You can spill. What you don't tell me, Jenny here will...."

Jensen lunged forward and grabbed the phone out of his friend's hand. He slammed his hand around the bottom of the phone and hissed at Chris, "Shut the hell up, Kane!" When Christian dissolved into laughter, Jensen stood up and headed towards his bedroom. Once safely inside his room, he cleared his throat and took his hand away from the phone. He could hear Jared's worried voice on the other end demanding a response. "Yeah, hey. Jared. Hi." He felt his ears burn once again with embarrassment.

"Jensen?" Jared sounded confused, but relieved at the same time. "Hey. Ummm...look, I'm on a break here on set, but I had to ask you..."

"Your bracelet is in the living room," Jensen blurted out, wincing at his abruptness. "I'll have Chris bring it by later this week if that's okay."

There was silence on the other end for a beat, then a light sigh. "Actually, I wanted to ask you to dinner."

"Dinner?"

"Yeah."

"At a restaurant?"

"Well, actually, I was thinking about having you stop by set. I work pretty late evenings so it's hard for me to get away...but I thought maybe you wouldn't mind a set tour and some awesome Greek stuff the lady down in craft services dishes up on Thursdays?"

Jensen cringed. "Look," he began, wiping a hand over his eyes, "I'm not really...I mean last night was fun and all...but I don't even know you that well and I’m not sure this is a good idea."

"Oh."It came out like someone had punched Jared in the stomach and Jensen couldn't help but feel guilty for causing that disheartened feeling. He swallowed thickly and waited. "Okay, um....well...yeah. So, I've got to be back on set in a few minutes, so I'll just let you go then and I'll see you around."

"Yeah," Jensen agreed. "I'll have Christian bring you your bracelet later this week, then."

"No...that's okay. Just keep it. Or have Chris keep it. Or toss it. It's fine," the younger man said, voice sounding strangled and thin. "No big." After a few seconds, he added, "I just…I thought, you know, since we both didn’t do the one night thing anymore that this was something else. But I guess I was wrong." Jensen could hear Jared cough lightly, away from the phone as if he was holding it from his face. "It was an eye-opening experience."

Before Jensen could respond, the line was dead. He drew a long breath and sagged down onto his bed, head pounding and throat tight unexpectedly. A soft knock on his door made him look up and he tossed his phone onto the bed as Chris walked into the room.

"Tell me you did not just blow off Jared Padalecki," his roommate asked, worry evident in his voice.

Jensen sighed in defeat. "It's best I don't let anything distract me right now. I’ve barely got time enough to practice for the album, let alone date. Jared's a nice guy...."

"Don't give me that crap, Ackles. Jared's a great guy.”

“He’s an actor. Living in L.A. With tons of people willing to throw themselves at him – myself apparently included. I'm not ready to deal with all that crap again.” Jensen managed to look ashamed.

“Jared’s not like that. From what I’ve seen, he doesn’t screw around and he’s genuine. You can trust me on this.” Chris studied him a moment, then walked over to the photos on the corkboard. One finger fiddled with the corner of the photo of the two of them. “I know, though, what this is about. You're just scared that you had a fantastic evening with a hot guy that you may end up repeating because you got on so well with him. But you’re scared he’ll run off and pretend you were never in the picture and leave you with one hell of a mess to clean up.” He turned back to his friend, forehead crinkled in frustration. “He’s not Tom, man.”

Jensen bowed his head and rubbed at his eyes. “Tom stays out of this conversation, Chris.”

“Damn right, lover boy. Tom's long gone and good riddance. Jared wouldn't do you like Tom did and I think deep down you know that. You could see yourself falling for him. And it scares you to death."

Jensen shifted uncomfortably on the bed, pressing a wrinkle out of the bedspread. "I don't get scared, asshole." 

Chris let out a howl of laughter and slapped Jensen on the back. "Sure, whatever. You haven't exactly been back in the saddle since the Number One Douche told you to make like a tree, though. Which is understandable, considering. But I even set you up with Joanna and somehow you escaped her, too. You are missing out with her, by the way."

"We were better as friends and you know that. She's awesome, but I'm just..."

"Into dick more?" Chris waggled his eyebrows suggestive. "I don't know much about that myself, but I do know that Jared has giant hands.....and you know what they say about a guy with big hands..."

Jensen blushed crimson. "Oh, God, shut up."

"Okay, enough cock talk. But you know damn well that boy strikes your fancy and if he's already calling you for another date, he must have enjoyed himself last night, too. You’re seein’ my point then, aren’t ya?”

"My music," Jensen started. 

Chris stopped him with a firm hand up. "No, man. You're scared you'll actually let someone in again and you're using your career as an excuse to run away.” He stood up, tossing the leather bracelet onto the comforter. “You let him go now? You’ll be kickin’ yourself in the ass for the rest of your life – music career or not.”

Jensen sat on his bed for a long time, staring at the coil of leather beside him. He couldn’t bring himself to throw it in the trashcan. It seemed wrong somehow, even with Jared’s permission. He ultimately wandered over to the corkboard near his door and tacked it up in the topmost corner. If his heart hurt more than his head did, that was nobody’s business but his own.


	5. Jensen Is An Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris plays matchmaker....

It was Wednesday before Chris was needed on set again and Jared found himself avoiding the man as much as he could. He spent most of the morning either in the makeup trailer or in his own, curled up between Harley and Sadie on the bed running through his lines alone. The dogs welcomed the attention, as they hardly saw Jared during the week.

He hadn’t tried texting or calling Jensen again since Saturday morning’s debacle. He knew when to leave well enough alone and apparently, so did Christian. He hadn’t sought Jared out at all either. Eventually, however, the two actors had to run a scene together and Jared found himself standing toe to toe with Jensen’s roommate.

“So…,” he started, looking down at the floor, hair sliding forward to obscure his face more. 

“Hey, man. Haven’t seen you all day. You feelin’ alright?”

“Yeah, fine,” Jared said softly. 

Chris rolled his eyes. “Cut the crap, Jay. Jensen is an idiot. A stubborn, scared idiot.”

Jared looked up sharply at the other man. “I didn’t…”

“Yeah, well, you think loud enough that I don’t even have to ask.” He cast a glance over at the director, who was still lining up the camera angle and gesturing to the boom operator. “That and the fact that you’ve been avoiding me all day and you look like someone kicked Sadie.”

The taller man carefully adjusted his hair so he didn’t require a touch up. “Well, the last time I talked to Jensen he was pretty clear that he didn’t want to pursue anything more than what happened. No need to beat a dead horse.”

Chris looked at him a moment before throwing his head back in laughter. “Dude was freaking out, Jay. You’re the first person he’s brought back to the apartment in probably a year and he’s been taken advantage of before. Like monumentally. Despite his demeanor Friday night he’s pretty shy. You peeling off the veneer and getting inside was a bit to take in.” He nodded as the boom operator came close to them, offering a smile. “Plus, he was hungover. Word to the wise? Don’t mess with Jensen when he hasn’t had a lot of sleep.” 

Chris picked at a small piece of lint on his pant leg, moving closer to the taller man so he could speak in a low voice. His eyes scanned the set to make sure no one was paying them any attention before continuing. “Look. Jensen’s kind of complex and it’s not as simple as you’d like to think it is. He’d be okay with just letting you walk away and keeping that night a distant memory. But the fact is that you two are cut from the same cloth, man. I’ve never seen a pair of people so similar. Believe me when I say hanging out with y’all separately is sort of like déjà vu. And with the chemistry you two had the other night?” He waggled his eyebrows. “I could be so lucky to find someone like that.” He stood back, patting a palm on Jared’s shoulder. “Don’t let him get away. He’s a good guy who’s had a lot to deal with in the relationship department, but if anyone can get inside his inner sanctum and fix that? It’s you.” Jared looked unsure, but Chris didn’t let him speak up. “If nothing else call him until he agrees to see you again. Be just as stubborn as he is. You’d be surprised what he’ll do to keep from being irritated.”

“Alright, man. I will.” Jared started fidgeting on his feet. “Um….and I know this isn’t really a big deal or anything but it’s kind of a momento I’ve had for a while and…well…did he throw out my bracelet? I mean, I told him he could, but I was kind of hoping….”

The director called out to his assistant so they could start the scene, so Christian winked. As he walked to his mark, he called over his shoulder, “Jensen’s not the type to toss something that’s not his, even with permission. Call him back and ask him where your bracelet is. The answer might surprise you. And tell him I said he’s an idiot.”

Jared hid his smile as the director yelled “Action!”

~*~

Jensen felt the vibrations of his phone in his pocket while he was strumming out bridge chords at Steve’s studio. His fingers stuttered, causing him to play the wrong notes. Steve looked up from his mandolin in confusion. “You alright?” he asked, hands stilling. 

Jensen nodded. “Damn phone buzzed me is all. Screwed me up.”

Steve tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and leaned over to switch off the recording equipment. “It’s cool. My fingers were starting to cramp anyway. Let’s take five so you can see who it was. Might be important.” When Jensen shrugged, he stood up to leave the room. “Want a soda or something?”

“Sure.” Jensen set his guitar down on the floor before linking his hands together and stretching his arms high above his head. A couple of his knuckles popped. He sighed at the sweet bliss. Finally, he fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at the missed call list. Jared’s number was at the top of the list. He frowned. Before he could make heads or tails of what he was seeing, the phone began buzzing again, Jared’s name flashing across the screen.

“Hello?”

“Jensen? Hey. It’s Jared.”

“Um…hey.”

“Did I catch you at a bad time? Because I called before and I chickened out and couldn’t leave a message because it’s kind of weird to leave a message on your phone, but Christian said I should – “

“Jared, stop,” Jensen interrupted. “It’s fine. I was in the studio with Steve…”

“Shit. I’m sorry. It is a bad time and you’re being polite. I’ll just….”

“No big, man. We’re on break right now. And Christian said you should what?”

There was a brief silence before Jared cleared his throat. “Uh, I know you said this wasn’t a good idea, but...” Jensen heard the click of Jared swallowing noisily. “But I think it is. And Christian thinks we should try it out. The dating thing. I think we could be good together and I hate to think that we aren’t going to try…”

“Jared, I just don’t know…”

“That’s the thing, though,” Jared barreled on. “Nobody knows when they’re starting out a relationship. You don’t know if the person’s going to be a total douchebag or a psycho stalker or some weird fetishist.”

“Fetishist?” Jensen found himself smiling despite himself. “What type of dates have you been on lately?”

Jared chuckled. “Not many – I’ve told you this already. But that’s not the point. The point is that I’m not going to give up on trying this with you. I think we could find out that we have more in common than our home state and the Cowboys and entertaining people. I feel like we have this chemistry together, something I haven’t had with anyone in a very long time. And we deserve the chance to see where this goes.”

“And if it goes south?”

“Then it goes south. I don’t know, but I’m willing to take the risk.”

Jensen sighed. “You’re taking a lot on chance seeing as we’ve only spent one night together and over half of that, we were smashed. How do you know we’ll even get along outside of sex?”

“How do you know we won’t? Come on, man. Give it a shot and come down to set tomorrow night for dinner. Please?”

Steve walked back into the studio, carrying two bottles of Coke. He handed one to Jensen and gestured to the door, asking silently if he should leave. Jensen waved at him to sit down. Steve sat, but turned his back on his friend, as if to give the illusion of full privacy. He fiddled with the microphone nearby as a distraction.

“Alright. Fine,” Jensen finally agreed, voice low. “What time?”

“Ummm…maybe around 7? We generally wrap for dinner around 6:30 so we can grab some food and a table at the tent without generating a huge crowd.” Jared sounded like he’d just won the lottery. Jensen couldn’t help smiling about that. 

“7 o’clock. Okay. I’ll have Chris tell me how to get there.”

“Awesome! And Jensen?”

“Yeah?”

“Chris told me to ask you something else.”

“Yeah?”

“He said to ask you where my bracelet is.”

Jensen gulped in a breath, causing Steve to look over in alarm. He closed his eyes. “I didn’t throw it away if that’s what you want to know,” he admitted. 

Jared laughed. “Okay. I’ll let you by with that answer for now.” There was a noise in the background and Jensen could make out Jared’s voice, muffled by a hand. “I’ve gotta head back to set. But I’m glad that you’re coming over tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

“Oh, and Jensen?”

“Yeah?”

“Chris says you’re an idiot.”

Jensen could hear Jared laughing as he hung up the phone. Jensen blew out a laugh of his own as he put his phone back in his pocket. Steve turned around, amused. “Important call, then?”

The other man picked up his guitar, thinking a moment. “Maybe. We’ll have to see.”


	6. I'll Be Surprised If They Don't Bring You Out A Free Dessert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dates....

"An idiot, huh?"

Christian and Jared both looked up from their plates of food to see Jensen standing next to the table, hands crammed into his jean pockets. He smiled at Jared shyly, who returned the smile with a wide grin. 

"I meant that in the most endearing way," Chris laughed, scooting over a chair so that Jensen could sit between the two seated men. 

"Uh-huh. I bet."

"Well, with your track record of being as skittish as a colt..." Chris smirked, shoveling a forkful of what looked like shredded pork into his mouth. 

"Shut it, man-whore." 

Christian clasped a hand over his heart, feigning pain. "You wound me with your words, Ackles!" He winked at Jared and wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. "Even though that might be a true assessment..."

Jensen looked around the nearly empty craft services tent apprehensively. When he saw that no one paid their table any mind, he slid into the chair. "So, this place isn't very busy right now," he commented.

"You made it," Jared said, food forgotten on his styrofoam plate. His smile was softly pleased and his eyes glittered in the dim light. 

"Sounds like you're surprised." 

"Maybe a little. I mean, I was pretty sure you were gonna blow me off."

Jensen shifted uncomfortably. That statement would have been eerily accurate if anyone had asked about his plans for the evening even an hour ago. He had gone back and forth all day, sure of his decision at one time and then completely changing his mind the next moment. He'd thought of excuses to tell Jared and fantasized both good and bad scenarios. He'd changed shirts at least three times before he settled on something comfortable and he'd showered twice. He'd not been this nervous around someone since high school and that, in itself, made him more nervous. He coughed out a laugh and cast a quick glance at Chris, who patted him on the back.

"Nah, Jenny here was gonna show for sure. Food to be had, great company to keep...." He leaned forward on the small table, lowering his voice. "Plus, he'd have hell to pay if I got home and found out he stood you up."

Jensen's eyes grew round and he coughed harshly into his hand. “Really?” Jared pushed his water glass forward, offering it, but Jensen waved it away. “You’ve got an awful lot riding on this thing.”

Chris smirked, looking over his shoulder and catching the eye of the cook across the room. “Well, I do have fifty bucks bet against Tamara over there that you’d show.” He leaned closer to the table, whispering. “She doesn’t believe that Jared would be able to ask a friend to set for dinner.”

“Friend, huh?” Jared asked, wiping his fingers on his napkin. He looked over at Tamara, too, nodding and smiling at her. She looked completely confused before pointing at the pile of noodles under the warming lamp and gesturing that she’d make him another plate. “You want her to bring over some food? She can check out our friendliness from close up,” he teased. At Jensen’s apprehension, he laughed. “Just kidding, I’ll go grab you a plate myself. Make sure she doesn’t give you the crappy bits that have stayed under the warmer too long.”

Jensen sent another nervous glance around the tent before nodding in agreement. Jared jumped to his feet and strode over to Tamara, pointing and motioning towards several pans. Tamara began to fill a plate. Jensen turned to Chris, hand rubbing absently across his own nape. “Is that true? About the cook? You told her we were friends, right? No funny business…”

Chris finished draining his cup of iced tea and set it down on the table with a thunk. “Seriously? You really think I’d let on about you and Jared?” He cocked an eyebrow in irritation. “You have no faith in me, Ackles.”

“No, I do. I just….this isn’t really…I mean, Jared’s, well...Jared. But I’m not ready for the whole world to know about this – especially if there isn’t much of a this to speak of.”

“I know, I know. Stay low profile. Keep all of this out of the tabloids. Don’t mention it to the press. Avoid people at all costs.” Chris sighed, watching as Jared started back to the table carrying a food-laden plate. “I know what a nightmare it was with Tom, but again, I have to reiterate that Jared’s not Tom. He’s not going to pull that shit with you.”

Jared placed the plate in front of Jensen, a cold bottle of water set beside it. “What shit?” he asked, settling down in his chair again. 

Jensen sighed. “Nothing.” He unwrapped his plastic fork and stared down at his plate. Bits of pork and vegetables topped wiry noodles and a thin brown sauce was drizzled over it all. “This looks amazing.” He took a bite of noodles, moaning a little at the taste. “Hell, yeah, that’s good.” Jared choked on the mouthful of food he’d just taken, eyes riveted to Jensen’s lips, which parted to allow his tongue to lick away stray drops of sauce. 

“And on that note,” Christian teased, standing and stretching. “Y’all have a great evening. See you later tonight, Jen.” He gathered his trash and wandered out of the tent, calling out to a passerby. Jared’s face burned in embarrassment as he went back to eating.

The two men sat eating in silence for a few minutes. Around them were the muffled sounds of the crew heading back to set, Tamara cleaning up the rest of the food, and the clatter of lights and equipment being moved from stage to stage. Jensen closed his eyes briefly, taste of sauce still on his tongue, and felt a strange sense of nostalgia wash over him. 

He'd only visited Tom on set a handful of times and never as anything but a friend of a friend. Tom kept up his appearances for the press: a beautiful girl by his side at events, always demure when answering relationship questions, never being definitive when probed for private information. Jensen was nearly always shuffled around behind the scenes, meeting bodyguards or Tom's cousins at parking garages out of the way, instead of coming near the actor himself where anyone could see. They stayed in random motels off the beaten path under aliases. They celebrated their year anniversary at Tom's brother's condo in Colorado with no one the wiser as to their whereabouts. 

Jensen was asked by Tom's publicist to stay in the shadows, to be a ghost. Tom begged Jensen to be patient with him, to let him get things worked out within his career before he went public with everything. And Jensen had been patient. He'd kept all those private moments between them inside for months. He pined for the day he could tell his family about the guy he'd been seeing.

Tom had never made an announcement about them. He never acknowledged Jensen at all. In fact, two months after Jensen had come to Tom in tears, asking for the world to know that they were welcoming a child soon, he'd shut down completely. He stopped taking Jensen's calls. He had a mutual friend, Mike, come by the apartment to give Jensen a check to cover any expenses of an abortion, along with a hefty hush fee. Jensen had torn the check into confetti and sent Mike back to Tom with a black eye. It was a lucky thing he wasn’t torn limb from limb…

"Jensen?" 

Jared's worried voice carried through his memories and Jensen took a sharp breath. "Sorry. Just....it's been awhile since I've been on a set. Bringing back some things I hadn't thought about in a while."

"Oh," Jared said, looking down at his now empty plate. "So, not really one who wants a tour, then, huh?"

Jensen smiled softly. "Maybe another time."

"Sure. Anytime." Jared put his hand on top of Jensen's. "You're welcome here anytime, Jen."

"Jen?" 

"Oh, God....sorry...it just slipped out." Jared withdrew his hand, smacking himself on his forehead. "Jeez, I'm such a dork."

"Nah," Jensen interrupted, putting down his fork and smiling over at the taller man. "It's just...no one's called me Jen before...well, other than you the other night. It's usually J or Jenny. But for the love of God, do NOT call me Jenny. I allow it from Chris only because it's kind of a childhood nickname..."

Jared looked Jensen straight in the eye. "I'd never call you Jenny. Promise."

"Good."

Tamara had left the catering buffet area for parts unknown and Jared could make out the sounds of the crew reassembling and shouts of PAs to locate cast members. He gathered up his trash and Jensen's, depositing it in the nearby trashcan, then stood awkwardly next to the other man. 

"So," he began, hands jammed deep into his jeans pockets. "They're gonna be looking for me soon. I'd better be getting back to the soundstage."

Jensen tucked his thumbs in his back pockets, trying for nonchalant. "Yeah. Sure. Um...thanks for inviting me here for the food. It was great. Give Tamara my compliments." 

He turned to leave and found a strong hand wrapped around his bicep. When he looked back at Jared, his breath caught in his throat. The man was close enough he could smell the trace of makeup and subtle cologne. Woodsy and musky...

"Thanks for coming here," Jared said, voice low, but warm. He cast a quick glance around the tent, then leaned in to place a gentle kiss on the other man's lips. "Let's do it again sometime."

Jensen felt his heart flutter in his chest and he nodded dumbly, unable to form words. Jared gave him the brightest, biggest grin he'd ever seen before stepping back and ducking his head shyly. 

"I'll call you, okay? Maybe tomorrow after shooting wraps. We can hang out. Play some COD or shoot some hoops...maybe watch a movie or something. I'm pretty laidback." He looked up at Jensen through his floppy bangs, hopeful.

Jensen smiled back and agreed. "That sounds...good. Yeah."

As he left the tent, Jared called over his shoulder, "Later, Jen!" 

Jensen heard a startled shriek of laughter from a young girl just outside the tent. When he headed out, he saw that it was what appeared to be Jared's PA, who was slapping at his arm playfully. Both were giggling. Jared looked back one more time, waving at Jensen. The girl looked back, turned red, and laughed harder. "Oh my God, Jared....where do you find these people you hang out with? He's so hot!" Jensen heard her squeal. "Life as a peon is so unfair!"

Jared snorted and ducked his head. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he brought it out to look at the message.

*she’s not lying, you know….hot stuff, Ackles*

His face burned crimson and he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face for an hour.

~*~  
Jared called Jensen the next day when he had a break from shooting to ask him to dinner for that Saturday. Jensen accepted on one condition: that they actually go somewhere that had solid walls and silverware. Jared feigned being offended, but promised to find a real restaurant this time. 

Christian poked fun at the both of them. He snuck Post-Its with dirty limericks in Jared’s script pages Friday afternoon at the read-through for the next week. He left glossy magazine shots of Jared in Jensen’s shower stall Saturday morning with a bottle of dollar store conditioner placed strategically beneath. 

By Saturday evening, both men were extremely nervous. Thankfully, Christian was nowhere to be found when Jared came to pick up Jensen. They made it to the dinner reservation on time, only to be interrupted by their waitress nearly knocking over their water glasses when she realized who she was serving. 

"Jared Padalecki!" she breathed out excitedly. "As I live and breathe." Her voice had a southern twang and she swung her hand out to hang off her hip as she spoke. Jensen tensed across the table.

Both men looked up at her, Jared's face melting into a flushed, boyish expression. "Hi, there," he drawled, Texan accent coming out strong. "How are you tonight?"

The waitress twittered and fanned her face. Her blush was evident through the dimmed lights. "Oh, my God....I'm great....you?"

Jared winked. "I'm having a great time out tonight. But we're just looking to have a quiet evening....so if you could keep it down about us being here, that would be fantastic." His voice was syrup and honeybees. The waitress ate it up.

She glanced around the restaurant, nodding knowingly. "I understand. I'll keep it hush-hush." She leaned closer to him, covering the side of her mouth from view of the rest of the patrons. "But can I bother you for an autograph before you guys take off? Please?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart," he agreed. "Now, can you tell me what wine would go best with your sirloin?" His leg reached out beneath the table and bumped Jensen's. The other man started, trying to cover his surprise with a cough. The waitress paid him no mind. She took their orders and rushed off, face still red.

Jensen ran a hand through his hair. "That girl about creamed herself when she realized who you were. I'll be surprised if they don't bring you out a free dessert."

Jared laughed, taking a sip of water. "Perk of being on a television show, I guess. All the chocolate I can eat. But, she'll just have to back off because I'm here on a hot date." The toe of his shoe skated up Jensen's leg and tickled at his thigh. His upper body stayed still, though.

Jensen took a sharp breath. "Hot date, huh?"

"Yeah." His foot wormed its way between Jensen's legs. "And I'm hoping I get to take you out again." He leaned closer to Jensen, letting his foot caress the other man's groin softly. "Soon."

"Only if I get to share that dessert with you."

"Deal."

They spent the evening curled up on Jared's sofa, sharing the double chocolate cake the restaurant had given them on the house. Despite all forms of motivation, however, Jensen stayed firm in his decision to keep things slow. They shared a sweet kiss before he headed home, head in the clouds.


	7. There Are Such Things As Destiny And Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Problems back home...

Jared stared at his phone, frowning at the message that had come across the screen. It had been two delightful weeks since their first official date and Jared and Jensen had been spending as much time as possible together. When one of them were at work and had a spare moment, they'd text each other. It was comfortable and sexy, even though they'd mutually decided to take things more slowly. This text, however, was anything but fun.

Chris waltzed over to the director's chair next to Jared's and lifted himself up into it. When he wasn't acknowledged right away, he waved a hand in front of Jared's phone.

"Earth to Jaybird," he said, smiling. "Jensen send you some racy pictures again?"

Jared blinked up at Christian, not seeing him completely. "Um, no. Jen's dad is in the hospital and he's gotta fly to Dallas immediately."

"What? Really?" Christian's phone buzzed in his pocket. He reached down and saw a message from Jensen, explaining that his dad had been taken to the hospital and could he float him some cash to get him on a plane tonight? "Shit," he said under his breath, running a hand through his hair. 

"What? Did he send you more information? Is his dad okay?"

"No new news, I think. Just that he's been taken in. But he needs to fly out there and he's short on funds." Chris clicked over to his banking app on his phone and quickly ran numbers through his head. "I don't know if I can swing what he needs by tonight. Fuckin' fantastic friend I am."

Jared's head whipped up. "He needs a ticket home?"

"Yeah, but I can't get him the $200 right now. Bills just came due and I..."

Jared wasn't listening to him. He had his phone to his ear, hand scrabbling in his pocket for his wallet. "I need two tickets to Dallas on the next flight out. Wait, hold on. Let me...." He held a hand over the mouthpiece of the phone, wallet flopped open so he could grab out a credit card. "Christian, can you check with Kim and see if I can get cut loose for tonight and tomorrow? It's an emergency. I'll work extra long hours to make up for it when I get back."

Chris blinked at Jared for a long moment. "You're going with him?"

"Can you just ask him? I mean, I'm probably going to go anyway, but...Jensen shouldn't have to go by himself."

Jared was distractedly speaking into the phone again, rattling off numbers and answering questions. Chris smiled a small smile and headed off to find the director. 

~*~  
An hour later, Jensen found himself inside the darkened interior of Clif's SUV next to Jared. His bag had been stuffed quickly, having only been given twenty minutes notice that Clif was arriving to pick him up. It rested at his feet, a lump of canvas he barely recognized. His knee was bouncing a million miles an hour and he had to sit on his fingers so he didn't start chewing his nails. 

Jared didn't look any more at ease. His hair was pulled haphazardly up into a ponytail, one wayward strand dangling across his face. He kept pushing it back behind his ear, but it continued to drift forward, just short enough to stay free of the band. His fingers tapped a rhythm on his jean-clad knee and his teeth worried his lower lip. His own duffle was shoved behind them in the hatchback section of the vehicle, rust orange and unassuming. Jensen wondered what exactly Jared had packed and how he'd come to decide to take this emergency trip in the first place.

"You guys alright back there?" Clif called back, eyes visible in the rearview mirror. "You're awful quiet."

"Fine," Jensen said flatly. 

Jared passed a glance over at his travel companion before shrugging in Clif's direction. "Yeah, we're good."

"Okay," Clif said, sounding unsure. "Just let me know if you need something. This silent crap's kind of creeping me out. Especially coming from you, Padalecki."

Jensen huffed out a laugh and stared out the window. They were almost to LAX and he felt the anticipation of flying growing in leaps and bounds. He didn't dislike flying, exactly, but he definitely found it to be an unpleasant and expensive means to get where he needed to be. He would have preferred to drive himself, but it would have taken at least a day and a half to get home, not stopping much for sleeping. Besides, he couldn't lose out on precious minutes on his father if there was something serious going on.

He hadn't been able to get much information out of his mother, who was distracted by doctors and endless forms to fill out. Josh had been at work and hadn't returned his mother's message yet. Mack had sent him information via text as soon as she found out where their father had been taken and that he was being rushed into surgery, but that source dried up when she revealed that she would be unable to use her phone inside the hospital surgical area. It hadn't been long enough for surgery to be complete, so no one knew that Jensen was even arriving in Dallas within a few hours. 

He felt a warm hand rest on his knee, causing it to stop bouncing with a jerk. Jared was looking at him with sad, sympathetic eyes. "It'll be okay," the other man said softly, hand lightly squeezing Jensen's knee. "I just have a feeling about this."

Jensen swallowed around the lump that had taken up residence in his throat and blinked hard. He refused to cry. "Yeah. Okay," he whispered. He felt another squeeze of Jared's large hand and he focused on it to distract him from the swell of emotion threatening to erupt. 

Jared's hand was knobby knuckled and long fingered, tanned with a light dusting of light brown hair that ran upwards to his arm. Calluses scratched at Jensen's jeans, soft enough to prove that Jared didn't work with his hands heavily, but obviously lifted weights regularly or used a bar for pull-ups. There was a light white scar on the top of his index finger's knuckle, small enough to be overlooked by the casual observer but large enough to stand out with this careful scrutiny. Resting around his wrist was the thin dark strand of leather, braided and tied carefully together. Jensen bit his tongue as he remembered keeping the bracelet in his room and randomly finding himself taking it down off his bulletin board to run his fingers across it. He realized with sharp clarity that he had no idea why the bracelet was so important to Jared. He sat up straighter in the seat, turning to his travel companion.

"You never did tell me the story behind this bracelet. I mean, it seems like it's sort of important to you." 

"Huh?" Jared pulled his attention away from the bustling activity on the freeway and looked down at his wrist. "Oh. My bracelet. Yeah." He paused, taking his hand back into his lap, and used his finger and thumb to adjust it so the knot holding it together was no longer visible. 

"It's a souvenir from when I first came to L.A. I was young and dumb and starry eyed, not much cash to my name. First week in the big city, staying at a tiny skeevy motel and trying to find work at restaurants and bars nearby. I had landed a quick and dirty read-through audition for a teen drama by pure luck. Wandering around the streets, I just happened to bump into Chad Murray and I was just gaping at him like a fish. First celebrity I'd ever met - well, physically ran into that is - and I could barely talk. I mean, this guy's the same age as I was and he was in this ridiculous ball hat/sunglasses/windbreaker disguise and I guess I just watched way too much TV directed towards teenage girls because I recognized him. Sandy, my ex-fiancé, used to make me watch hours of the crap while she squealed and giggled." He looked over at Jensen and laughed. "The shit we do to get laid, eh?" 

Jensen smiled, but nodded knowingly. He waited for Jared to continue. 

"So, anyway, I'm standing on the sidewalk next to this stupid little Indian convenience store where I'd just applied to work as a cashier on the night shift, staring at Chad like he was God's gift and you know what that fucker said to me? He said, 'Oh, shit! Who let the moose out on the street?' And of course, I'm so completely spazzing out, blurting out that I was forced to watch every episode of his show and then, I start laughing like a lunatic and Chad starts laughing, too. Pretty soon, this blonde girl comes up to us and puts her hands on her hips and starts yelling at Chad to get his shit together because he has somewhere to be soon.

"Chad looks at her, still laughing, and tells her he just had a run-in with a wild moose and he can't possibly make it to the audition. Then he asks me what I have going on for the afternoon because he'd like to buy me a beer for running me over and making his day."

"Almost at the airport, boss," Clif interrupted, tone apologetic. 

Jensen leaned closer to Jared, eyes curious. "And then what?"

Jared grinned. "We went to a little pub with the little blonde following us around and ragging on Chad every step because she was his handler and she was in charge of making sure he got where he was supposed to be going. We had a beer. Poked fun at his handler, who left pissed off shortly after we got there. Watched half a basketball game on the bar's TV and rooted for opposite teams as a drinking game. He said he liked me, even if I had watched every episode of Still Waters he'd ever been in. Then, he asked me how the hell I came to be in L.A., looked at my horribly thin portfolio that I dragged around everywhere, and called his agent, swearing he'd show up to the audition. That fucker took me instead and pushed me into the audition room cold turkey. 

"The casting director hated my audition, partly because I looked like I'd just rolled off a Greyhound and smelled like beer, but she offered me a job as an extra on another show because Chad had sent me in and she was really looking to cast him in the show they were holding the auditions for. That little shit got the job, too, even after pulling that prank. But, after that extra job, things kind of snowballed career wise...and here I am with my own show."

"Wow."

"Yep." 

Clif pulled the SUV up to the terminal drive and got out to open the hatchback for Jared. As they walked through to the desk, Jensen frowned. 

"What the hell did any of that have to do with your bracelet?"

Jared snickered, handing his ticket over to the woman at the desk. "I may have went back to that Indian store a week after my audition and bought it as a keepsake."

He lugged his duffle bag over his shoulder, watched as Jensen got checked in, and then directed them towards the security station. 

"So you keep it to remember your big break?"

Jared shook his head and walked closer to the shorter man so he could speak more quietly. 

"It may sound stupid, but it's a reminder to me that there are such things as destiny and fate. That had I not been at that exact moment, my life could have been totally different."

"True," Jensen commented, placing his bag on the conveyor belt. 

It wasn’t until after they were securely buckled into their seats on the plane that Jared poked Jensen in the ribcage with a smile. "If I hadn't been there that day, I'd never have been here with you today. Destiny, if you will.” He fingered the rope around his wrist, then took Jensen’s hand. “I’m a pretty firm believer in it.”

Jensen looked up, a sort of awed expression crossing his face. When Jared's eyes remained solid and honest, Jensen nudged him back with his elbow playfully. 

"Yeah, yeah." Under his breath, he muttered, "you big softie."  
~*~  
Jared got the news as soon as his second flight of the day landed in San Antonio. Jensen’s father had had a mild heart attack, but would be back up and running in no time. Jared sighed happily, telling Jensen that he’d see him back in LA later in the week and to enjoy his family. The other man’s voice sounded so relieved that Jared found himself in desperate need of a celebratory hug. He scanned the airport and spotted his sister lounging against a wall, looking bored. 

“MEGS!” he hollered, scooping her up with one arm and squeezing her tightly. 

“Get OFF of me,” she shrieked, feigning embarrassment. Her broad grin and bright eyes told him that she was just as happy to see him. She whacked him playfully on the arm when he put her back on the ground. “Crazy time to come on a spur of the minute trip, huh? I mean, aren’t you supposed to be shooting right now?”

Jared ducked his head. “Yeah, well….a friend’s dad wasn’t doing so hot and he’s not good with flying alone. So I offered to fly down to Dallas with him and swing by here on the way back to LA.”

Megan gave him a quizzical expression. “Kind of a long trip for a friend.” Her voice held a hint of tease to it, so Jared nudged her with his arm.

“Shut up.” When she gave him a knowing smirk, he shoved his hands in his pockets and toed the ground. “It’s not a big thing yet. Don’t tell mom yet. I haven’t even said anything to John about it and its new, so….”

“Oh, my GOD! It’s Jared Padalecki!!!” 

Both Jared and Megan turned to look at the small group of girls coming out of the baggage claim area. A perky redhead was staring and pointing at Jared and talking animatedly to her friends. The group began buzzing with the collective voices of the fans before they made their way over to Jared. 

“Looks like duty calls.” He sent an apologetic glance over his shoulder and left his sister’s side to sign autographs and take selfies. It was almost an hour later before they pulled up to their childhood home, much to Megan’s disdain. She insisted that while fans were an important part of his fame that he didn’t have any requirements to bend to all their whims. Jared couldn’t help but silently agree with that, knowing that the network and his agent would be proud of him pleasing the group of girls. It was all part of the job…

He spent the remainder of the day filling up on his mama's home cooking and his daddy's financial tips. He tried to avoid Megan's inquiries about Jensen, but eventually gave up and told his family all about his best friend. 

His parents were delighted that he'd made such a close friend in L.A. and they demanded that Jensen come down to stay sometime. Megan's eyebrow stayed quirked in suspicion, though, and Jared was fairly certain his mother had caught on as well. But he wasn't ready to officially explain their relationship to his family, so he kept mum. 

When he had to go back to the airport, he hugged his mom goodbye, shook his dad's hand, and climbed back into Megan's car. 

"You know, it's not a big deal if you've found someone to date," she said, not paying him much mind as she maneuvered in traffic. "Even if he's a guy."

Jared rubbed a hand over his forehead and sighed. "It's just not serious yet. No use getting mom all excited when it's still new."

"Fine. I'll give you that because she's still not completely forgiven you for Sandy. But have more faith in the fact that mom and dad would both be just as thrilled to see you happy. Gender is not an issue."

"And just how, dear sister, did you come to this conclusion?" Jared smirked at her and laughed when he saw her cheeks turn pink.

"I may be seeing someone in my classes....a girl."

"Aha!" Jared whooped, clapping his hands together. "I knew it! You being a softball player was an early indicator!"

Thankfully, they'd arrived at the airport, because she socked him in the arm with as much strength as she could. "See if I bring her to meet you the next time you're in town. Jerk."

He gathered her into his gangly arms and squeezed, laughing. "I'm happy for you, you know?"

"Shut up." She pushed him away, smiling. "I just wanted you to know that you could tell them if you wanted to."

"Thanks. I'll see what Jensen thinks about it."


	8. Occupational Hazard Of Dating A TV Star

Jared’s eyes rolled back in his head, one hand clenched tightly in Jensen’s short hair. His cock was currently being swallowed whole, hips shallowly thrusting up into the warm mouth. "Fuck, Jen," he groaned, fingers tightening around golden-brown strands. Jensen moaned around him, coaxing him further inside. "Yeah, darlin', so good to me."

They were inside his trailer, waiting for the crew to reset a pane of glass that had been used in a stunt. It hadn't taken long before Jensen was on him, pawing eagerly at his clothes and begging to let him taste. They'd recently decided to up their "going slow" pace, and while they still hadn't agreed to full on sex, Jensen was comfortable with other types of physical stimulation. 

A knock at the trailer door caused Jared to jump, choking Jensen in the process. "Oh, God, sorry, baby. I'm so sorry!" Jensen waved him off, eyes watering. He closed himself into the bathroom to recover while Jared tucked himself away. "Who is it?" he called out, irritation evident in his voice.

"Put your cock away, Padalecki, and let me in!" Christian bellowed through the thin door. 

Quickly, Jared wrenched the door open and ushered Chris in. He settled back down on the couch, throwing a spare blanket over his lap. "Shut up, man! You want the PAs to think I'm some sort of perv?"

"Well aren't you?" he joked, wagging his eyebrows. "Where's Jenny?"

"In the bathroom. You almost killed him, you know."

"Occupational hazard of dating a TV star and coming to his work for a booty call." Christian flipped a stapled copy of the new script down on the table. "Here's next week's script. A.J. wanted you to know that we have a read-through the day after Halloween, so not to get smashed and come to work hung-over. Yeah, right."

Jared scratched at his head, looking down at the script absently. "What's going on for Halloween?"

Jensen emerged from the bathroom, face washed and eyes only slightly red-rimmed. "Fuck you, Kane. You have a phone for a reason. Call before you scare the shit out of us next time."

"What fun would that be?" 

"Just a little more notice."

Christian laughed. "Hey, at least I didn't just walk right in. Don't need a peep show..."

Jared rolled his eyes. "So, Halloween?"

"Oh, yeah. So, Jenny here's got a gig Halloween night at Shine and there's this whole huge party after at the apartment. Just some friends of ours from the building and whoever else we decide to announce it to. Should be fun. Costumes optional."

"Sounds cool. I'm in."

Jensen blanched. "Uh, I'm not sure that's such a good idea...I mean, who knows who's coming....could be a fangirl-apalooza and then you'd have no fun and..."

"Jenny, shut it," Christian interrupted. "If Jared wants to come, he can come. Unlike a few minutes ago..." He smirked. At Jensen's groan, he continued. "Jenny loves dressing up, so he's going as Batman after the set. Steve should be there, too. And we're gonna have bouncers at the door to keep out the crazies. No worries, man." He nudged Jensen with an elbow. "But Jenny here's nervous to have you there. Doesn't want to sing for you."

"Shut up."

"I'm there. Couldn't keep me away," Jared smiled. "Now....can you please fuck off so we can enjoy the last few minutes before I have to be back on set?"

Christian laughed as he left the trailer. Jensen stayed standing near the kitchenette when he'd gone. Jared patted the couch cushion beside him.

"What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Don't want me at the party? I'll stay away."

"That's not it." He walked over to Jared, settling down on top of his lap and rocking slowly. Jared groaned and thrust up. 

"Distracting me, huh?" He licked into Jensen's mouth, shivering when he found he could still taste remnants of his flesh on the other man's tongue. Soon, he pulled back, waiting for Jensen to talk.

"Is it working?"

"Not as much as you'd like to think."

"We're wasting precious time here, J..."

"I can wait."

Jensen sighed, crumpling into his lover's lap. "Fine. There's an agent coming to the party. I'm not sure what record label or who for sure, but I know that Steve mentioned an agent. I'm scared to death that he won't like my music."

Jared kissed Jensen's forehead. "And if he doesn't? He doesn't sign you and it's his loss."

"You've never even heard me play."

"All the more reason for me to show up. Moral support for you and learning about you for me. Plus the whole Batman costume thing. Kinda sexy."

"Damn right, it's sexy."

"So it's settled. I'm showing up to the party, you're gonna sing, the agent's gonna make his decision, and we're gonna fuck like bunnies wearing tights."

Jensen laughed, pulling Jared's face closer to his so they could kiss. It wouldn't be long before they'd have to separate so Jared could go back to work. He put the apprehension he had for the party to the back of his mind and squirmed more into his lover's lap.  
~*~  
It was late - probably way later than the party was supposed to go - but a few stragglers remained: some comfortably stretched out on recliners and available floor space, two guys still head-to-head at the dining room table playing poker, one of the girls curled up asleep in Christian's arms on the sofa. Christian himself was zoned out to the muted TV, one finger drawing lazy patterns on the girl's arm as she dozed.

Jared was lounging on his stomach on a pile of floor cushions that Jensen's sister had insisted he buy. His toe was tapping the air and his lips were tipped up in a sleepy smile. His head was propped on his crossed arms, facing Jensen's nearby lap. The only part of his costume that had remained on was the skin-tight Robin shirt - the tights and mask irritating him after an hour. 

Jensen was strumming his guitar smoothly and softly - a melody that reminded Jared of a lullaby. He hummed along, sometimes breaking out into words, but mostly just letting the music flow out of his guitar. His eyes were closed, cheeks flushed to remind Jared of how much liquor he'd consumed earlier. Jared had to squint now to see Jensen's cheeks, as the older man still had his Batman mask on his face. It made him look rugged and terribly handsome and in this moment, while he played his guitar, he looked - free. As free as Jared had ever seen Jensen look. No worries, no constraint, no constant anxiety....just Jensen. Pure concentrate. It was beautiful. And to top it off, he had the thin strand of leather tied around his wrist, reminding Jared that fate was in his favor. 

He'd taken Jensen aside before his set and pressed it into his hand, telling him that it had been good luck for him, so he expected the Fates to decide which way the agent would go. Jensen had put it on with reverence, kissing him soundly between the stage's curtains in the shadows. Then he'd gone on stage and sounded amazing. The evening had begun on a high note and now they were here, simply existing.

Jared allowed the moment to wash over him, feeling full and happy. He hadn't felt so comfortable with anyone since Sandy. It was like he and Jensen clicked. Two pieces of one puzzle and all that romantic soulmate stuff. Suddenly, Jared felt the need to tell Jensen this.

"Jen," Jared started, low and even as if not to disturb the peaceful atmosphere surrounding them all.

Jensen continued strumming the guitar, but opened his eyes to look at his audience. "Yeah?"

"You're amazing."

Jensen coughed out a laugh, hands moving over the guitar strings of their own accord. "Shut up, you big girl," he teased. "How much of that Jaeger did you drink?"

"No, really." Jared pulled his body up into a seated position, arms looped around his knees. His head did feel a little dizzy, but he ignored it. "You're like....you've got this aura around you when you play...."

Christian giggled from the futon. "Definitely too much Jaeger for Jaybird."

"I'm serious. He's like awesome. His voice and his music and...."

"My masculine and handsome physique?" He comically flexed his bicep before tugging the mask from his face.

Jared's eyes darkened and his pants seemed tighter when he saw that same fire in Jensen's eyes. He felt his face warm up. "Yeah, that, too. You're fucking awesome, man."

"Get a room," the girl in Christian's lap mumbled, causing all three men to start laughing in earnest. The music coming from Jensen's guitar stopped as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Good idea, Ashley," he hiccupped, looking straight at Jared. "What about it, Gigantor? You haven't gone all liquor-dicked on me have you?"

“Okay, I’m officially scarred now," Christian moaned. "God spare me from the mental images!"

"Shut up, Kane...you know you want a front row seat to that show."

"Ugh. Ashley, time to go." Christian pulled the girl up off the sofa and clicked off the TV. "Just....keep it down." He headed off down the hallway to his bedroom, Ashley in tow.

Jared sniggered. "Gigantor, huh?"

"Yeah, well....you're tall..."

"And proportionate."

Jensen stood up, guitar quickly but lovingly placed back into the case. "Hell yes, you are." He licked his lips and stepped closer to Jared. "Gonna remind me how proportionate you are all over?" he breathed.

"Fuck, yes." He kissed Jensen with a warm, sloppy kiss. "But first, I'm going to take us back to my place." At Jensen's questioning look, he nuzzled the skin under his ear. "You're not really going to want to be quiet when I get started."


	9. Let Go Of Some Of Your Pride And Let People Help You Out

Jensen’s fingers paused on the G-chord and he leaned down to scribble a note on the paper in front of him. His phone buzzed on the table beside his notes and he sighed. A new message from Jared popped up. He dragged the guitar off his lap and opened it.

*can I come over? Got something to show you*

*is this a sex thing?*

*so what if it is?* 

Jensen smiled.

*well if it’s a sex thing then get your ass over here*

*actually, it’s something important that doesn’t have to do with sex….but if you want to have sex after, I’d be okay with that*

*well Chris is out right now, so come on over*

*awesome*  
*I’ll bring chocolate*  
*and more lube ;)*

~*~  
"Are you serious?"

Jensen scowled at Jared from across the room, envelope unopened in his hand. It had his name handwritten in fancy cursive and the logo of a local record company in the top left corner. A small pale brown stain laced the bottom edge, identical to the candy that coated Jared's fingertips and bottom lip.

The playful mood that Jensen had felt when Jared had texted him had vanished and he was left with a gnawing feeling of unease. That envelope, if it was what he thought it was, meant that he was going to be pretty irritated momentarily. Jared, however, was not picking up on the change in demeanor and continued to munch on the chocolate bar he brought with him.

Jared nodded excitedly, licking the chocolate from his lip and fingers. "Open it, Jen."

Jensen sighed. "Jared, I know you're trying to help..."

"Just open it. I don't know what it is exactly..."

"I just...I don't want..."

"Fine. Give it to me, then," Jared said, bounding forward and grabbing the envelope out of Jensen's hands. He tore into it savagely before Jensen could even protest any more. He held out the crisp, creased pages, squinting in the dim light of the living room's side table lamp. "We at Pacific Rim Records would like to offer Jensen Ackles a recording deal for acoustic guitar and vocals..."

"Stop," Jensen said, darting forward to grab the paper out of Jared's hands before he could continue. "Jared, look..."

"I knew it!" Jared whooped, face alight in excitement. He grabbed Jensen around the waist and pulled him close for a hug. Jensen pushed Jared's hands away, frowning.

"I thought you said you didn't know what this was about."

Jared, still unaware of Jensen's apparent discomfort, rolled his eyes and laughed. "Well I didn't know exactly what they were going to put in the contract and I know it’s just an indie label, but..."

"Just....Jared...." Jensen stared down at the papers in his hands, brow creased in exasperation. "I think you should go."

"What? I mean, I know you haven't heard back yet from the agent Steve said came to the show the other night and so I just asked around and...I thought you'd be stoked!"

"I need some...time...to sort this out."

"Sort what out, Jen? I mean...."

"Just....you need to go."

Jared surged forward and grasped Jensen’s bicep, forcing the shorter man to look up at him. "But isn't this what you wanted? To get a contract and do what you love doing? To stop having to go to work at that ridiculous cubicle cemetery and finally get to live? You hate that place and you hate being stuck there. When you play, it’s like you’re somewhere else. And I just really don’t want you to have to give that up just so you can pay the bills. I mean, I thought..."

Jensen took a breath and pulled his arm out of Jared’s grip. He took a few steps away from Jared, placed the papers on the nearby coffee table, and then turned to face the large picture window, back to the other man. "I don't want it handed to me, Jared. I want to get a contract on my own merit, not because I'm screwing Hollywood's next big thing."

"That's ridiculous, Jen. It's not like they're signing you cold turkey. I gave them a copy of that demo you've been working on with Chris. So they love your music. And you know that nobody even knows about..."

"That's just icing on the cake, isn't it? Nobody knows about Jared's little fling. Wouldn't want the public to know that you like sticking it up guys' asses, would we?" Jensen said icily.

Guilty heat rushed through Jared’s body. He took a few steps forward, wanting to take Jensen in his arms and soothe the hurt he obviously was feeling. Jensen shook his head again, halting him. "Jensen...that is not all on me and you know that!"

"No. Go. I just can't right now."

"We need to talk about this."

"What I need is for you to leave so I can figure this all out."

Jared's heart sunk. "Okay, if that's what you need," he said quietly, defeated.

Jensen nodded sharply, still not turning around. Jared swallowed around the giant lump in his throat before making his way to the apartment's door. As he opened the door, he took one final glance at Jensen's figure in the dark. "Call me...when you've had enough time to think about it. Okay?"

Jensen gave another sharp nod, body rigid, hands clasped behind his back. It felt like a million knives were stabbing their way into Jared's chest as he closed the door behind him.

~*~   
“I didn’t take the deal.”

“Duh,” Chris said, not looking up from where he was making notes in the margins of his script. After a few moments, he put the end of the pen between his teeth, frowning down at the page. “The writers have seriously fucked up ideas about the relationship between Carson and Blake. My character’s not gay, for Christ sakes!” 

“They write in a scripted kiss or something?” 

“Shut it, Ackles. It’s all subtext….but it’s killing me.” Chris scribbled another few words, then circled a section of blocking with a flourish. He pushed the pages back into his bag and sat up to face his friend head on. “Alright, I’m done. So you didn’t take the deal and I’m supposed to be surprised about this, right?”

Jensen wadded up the wrapper from his straw and tossed it in his friend’s direction. “Well, I mean, it wasn’t like it was a crappy deal. It was actually a pretty sweet deal.”

“Uh-huh. So?”

“So…I didn’t take it on the grounds that I didn’t earn it.”

Chris glared at Jensen through the thick strands of hair that fell around his face. “And because you’re an idiot.” A girl at the next table covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her giggles. Chris sent her a flirty wink. “He really is an idiot.” The girl picked up her coffee cup and left the café, blushing.

Jensen spluttered, face turning red. “No! I just don’t think I should be handed something like that just because Jared went and asked someone for a favor. That’s bullshit. It’s unethical.”

“Jenny, look,” Chris said, face serious. “You’ve been in this town working at that fucking stupid prison they call an office, doing work you’d rather die than have to repeat every day, and playing gigs at hole-in-the-wall bars and clubs for almost 5 years. And while you’re not exactly living in poverty, you’re not exactly living either. You’re just getting by while you wait for the life you want to start. The agent that came to the party hasn’t called yet and this deal lands in your lap because of Jared? I’m telling you as your best friend that you need to let go of some of your pride and let people help you out.” 

“It’s just….it doesn’t feel right.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t feel right that Jared’s not called in days and you’ve been avoiding him.” He lowered his voice. “Man’s a mess at work, Jenny. He stays in his damn trailer when he’s not needed elsewhere and he’s got this look…you know….the giant puppy eyes? It’s fucking killing me to be in the same room with him.”

“Yeah, well….he shouldn’t have thrown his name around trying to impress me.”

“That’s not what he was trying to do and you know it. He wanted to give you a gift and you just shit on it and made him feel like an asshole.” Chris stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder and throwing a couple of bills on the table top. Jensen winced. “Call him before you lose him, dumbass.”

Jensen watched his roommate stalk out of the café, teeth clenched. He fiddled with his phone for a few minutes, scrolling down to Jared’s number and pressing the call button before he lost his nerve. 

“Jensen, hi!” 

A surge of adrenaline rushed through Jensen’s body as the familiar voice sounded through the phone after the first ring. “Oh, uh…hi.” There was silence on the other end, so he took a breath. “Look…Jared….I’m sorry I flipped out on you the other day. It’s just….I’m not used to people….”

“You’re not used to people trying to make you happy?”

Jensen coughed a laugh into the air. “Well, that’s not exactly what…”

“That’s what I was trying to do, Jensen. I just wanted you to get what you deserved, you know. Get your music out there and just…I don’t know….”

“I guess I just can’t accept something like that without knowing that it’s on my own merit.”

“I get that. And I’m sorry if I stepped on your toes. That wasn’t my intention.” Jared’s voice was low and warm and Jensen couldn’t help but sigh. “Are we okay, then?” He sounded hopeful.

“We’re okay.”

“Awesome.” Jensen counted to ten before either one of them spoke again. When he did, Jared’s voice was seductive and playful. “So…what’re you wearing….”

Jensen laughed out loud, causing a few of the other café patrons to look up in alarm. “I’ll see you later, Jared,” he said.

“Don’t make it too much later.”

“Right.”


	10. I'm Very Photogenic

"You ever been sailing?"

It was quite possibly the most random question in the history of random questions. Jared and Jensen were lounging on Jared's giant leather sofa, watching a crappy movie on Sci-Fi. Harley was sprawled on the floor next to Jared's feet and Sadie had her head propped on Jensen's knee. One of his hands absently carded through her fur, which kept her very happy. They'd spent several afternoons and evenings when Jared was finished shooting just like this recently- watching movies, playing video games, drinking beer, and just hanging out. It was nice. Comfortable. As if they'd been doing it for years instead of off and on again for months. 

They’d fallen into a rhythm together and dating wasn’t so much ‘dating’ anymore. They'd been able to patch up the disagreement from the previous weeks and became closer because of it. The only times they weren’t together were when one or the other was working. Jared kept to Jensen’s boundaries about his career and Jensen respected Jared’s need to hang around and be ‘normal’ guys more often. He requested dinners at local restaurants and movie dates in low-key theaters just as often as they spent time on each other’s couches. How they kept themselves out of the limelight was a mystery, one that Jared welcomed with open arms.

"What? Sailing?"

"Yeah."

"On a boat?"

"Yeah, doofus. What else do you sail on?" 

Jared laughed, then scratched his head. "I mean, I guess I've been on a fishing boat with my dad before. Does that count?"

"Not really. I'm talking on the ocean for like a day. Hanging out on a boat with beers and the guitar and just relaxing."

"Well then, no, I haven't been sailing." 

Jensen picked up the remote and turned off the TV, movie long forgotten anyway. Sadie hopped up, ears cocked towards the sky and tongue hanging out in anticipation. He turned to Jared. "Wanna go?" Sadie began dancing back and forth, thinking the question was for her. Harley looked up from his spot on the floor, taking a small interest now that the word go had been uttered. 

"What? Now?"

"Sure!" Jensen stood up, taking Jared by the hand and pulling him up off the couch. "You grab the beers, I'll grab the keys and..."

"Wait. You have a boat?"

Jensen gave him a look like he was completely dense. "No, I'm making us get up off the sofa on a perfectly lazy Sunday morning so I can pretend to have a boat." He made his way over to his overnight bag and dug out some sandals. "Come on," he encouraged Jared, who hadn't moved yet, "get some shoes and let's go." 

Sadie began whimpering, bouncing from Jared to Jensen. Harley stood near the door, one paw up as if to knock. Jensen cooed at them, ruffling Sadie's fur. "Don't think Daddy will let you go on this trip, guys. Not sure how your stomachs will handle the waves."

Jared smiled at the scene. "Let me just get dressed."

"No!" Jensen exclaimed. Sadie's ears dropped and she gave Jensen her best puppy eyes. He scratched at her ear in apology for startling her. "Just....you're fine. We're going sailing for fuck's sake. Grab a hat and some glasses. We're burning daylight, Jay."

Jared looked down at his teeshirt and basketball shorts, then over at Jensen's similar outfit. "Okay," he agreed. He slid his feet into the flip flops by the door, grabbed his Cowboys cap off the hook in the hall closet, and grabbed his house keys and sunglasses from the side table. "Ready, I guess."

Jensen whooped in delight. He headed into the kitchen to pull a few remaining beers from the fridge, tossing Sadie and Harley a couple Milkbones. "You guys get to hold down the fort," he said to the dogs, who were much too involved in the treats to even acknowledge him. 

"Be good," Jared said over his shoulder. They were off.  
~*~  
The sun was high in the sky and Jared felt a light sheen of sweat over most of his body. He took a drink from the water bottle he'd snatched from the disposable cooler of foodstuffs they'd picked up from the marina store and sighed. This was relaxing. Jensen had given the dock a thorough look-over and announced that they hadn’t been followed by anyone, nor were there boats of crazed fangirls looming around. Even though Jared wasn’t exactly an A-lister as far as celebrities went, the show was gathering more of a cult following as of late. He blamed Chris. Clif had made the trip down and settled in his truck nearby just to be on the safe side, but insisted that he and the ocean did not mix. 

So, the boys were alone in the salty sea air, lounging on the short deck of Jensen’s boat. The boat was coasting slowly through the water, Jensen was playing a soft tune on the guitar, and there were very few other boats out to take away from the scenery. Jared hadn't seen a more beautiful side of California, or of Jensen.

"Hey, Jen."

"Yeah?" Jensen tipped his face towards Jared, sunglasses and hat still on, fingers still strumming the guitar. Jared took out his phone and clicked a quick photo of Jensen sprawled out on his back on the boat. Jensen gave him a toothy smile, which Jared took another photo of. "I wasn't ready for an impromptu photo shoot, Jay."

"Don't worry, I got your good side," Jared snarked. Jensen used the toes of one bare foot to push Jared to one side. Jared used the strange new angle to take another photo. 

"All my sides are good."

"Mmmm-hmmmm," Jared leered, licking his lips. Jensen rolled his eyes.

They floated along the water for a few minutes in relative quiet. Jensen's fingers went back to strumming the guitar. Jared switched his phone camera to video and started recording. 

"Jensen," he said after a couple minutes. "Play me something."

"Like what?"

"Anything. I just want to hear you sing."

Jensen's fingers stopped playing for a second, his face turning towards the ocean before looking back up at the sky. "Alright," he said, voice husky in the way it was when he was turned on. He cleared his throat and began playing. Before he started singing in earnest, he sat up, propping his body against the boat's rail, one foot balanced between Jared's legs. 

"Someone's always coming around here/Trailing some new kill/Says I've seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill...."

Jensen's voice was clear and beautiful. It sent chills through Jared's body. Watching Jensen in his element, Jared realized with perfect clarity that he was head over heels in love with this man. He'd never, not even with Sandy, been so desperate to have moments exactly like this for the rest of his life. He hadn’t felt this normal in years - accepted, loved… It made him miss home and want to leap with joy that he’d found a near second home in Jensen. His chest ached with the heavy thought of it and his eyes prickled with tears. He blinked to keep them at bay.

"I can make you satisfied in/Everything you do/All your secret wishes could right/Now be coming true/And be forever with my poison arms/Around you..."

When the guitar stopped playing, Jared couldn't move. He sat, phone still recording, staring at Jensen like he was the very end of the earth. A long breath he was unaware of holding gusted out of his mouth. 

Jensen looked at him with worry. "You alright?" He put the guitar down on the floor of the boat, leaning forward so that he could put his elbows on his knees. This close, Jared could see the different colors in his beard: browns, reds, golds. When he didn't say anything, Jensen snapped his fingers in front of Jared's face. "Jay. Earth to Jay."

Jared sat up straight and huffed out a laugh. "Yeah. Jeez. Sorry. Guess I zoned out there for a while."

"Nice to know my voice can keep you awake," Jensen teased. He relaxed back on the boat's bench, eyes not leaving Jared.

"No, it's not that. I just....that was fantastic, Jen." Jared clicked off his phone, placing it in his pocket. "Where'd you hear that one?"

"My buddy Steve and I were messing around one day with his studio stuff - guy's got a studio right in his house - and he brought out this mandolin. He set it up and we started playing random tunes. This one was our favorite. Reminds me of this whole town, this whole experience." He ducked his head, crossing his arms over his chest. "Folks back home wouldn't get it."

Jared nodded, knowingly. "I love it. You guys should get a gig together and play it out."

"We actually recorded that one. Mostly just us fooling around with the equipment. Got a few spots of us jamming out on video, too."

"You should really do something with that, Jen. It was amazing."

Jensen shook his head. "Nah. I'm not really looking to start up music videos and all that. Besides, it's a rough cut of crap. Fine tuning the guitar and the studio equipment."

Jared shrugged. "Well, I liked it."

"You like everything I do. Especially that thing with my..."

"No,” he interrupted sharply. “I liked it from a music point of view."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Your taste in music sucks."

"Does not!" Jared reached out his arm and shoved lightly at Jensen, causing him to tip over slightly and grab at the rail. 

"Aw, man....it's ON!" Jensen laughed, grabbing at the hem of Jared's shirt and pulling him down so he could pretend to shove him overboard. Jared was fast, though, and launched himself onto the floor of the boat, narrowly missing the guitar. "Watch it, Gigantor. That's my money maker."

"Liar! That's your awesome talent. Your real money maker is a craptastic Dell computer at some random office." Jared squealed as Jensen joined him on the floor of the boat. 

Jensen pinned him down, necklace swinging just millimeters from Jared's nose. "Gotcha!" His fingers deftly found his ribcage, tickling mercilessly. He dipped his head, inches from kissing. When Jared lifted his head to meet his lips, the smaller man launched a full on attack.

"OKAY, OKAY! I GIVE!" Jared wriggled away from Jensen, laughing and swatting at his hands. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent floating around the bay, taking photos of the scenery, trading heated glances, and laughing at dirty lyrics they came up with for popular songs Jensen could play on the guitar. When they docked, the sun was sinking down over the horizon and both men were starving hungry and slightly sunburned. Jared delighted in poking at the back of Jensen’s neck as they headed towards his truck. 

“Knock it off,” Jensen whined, swinging the styrofoam cooler up into the bed of the truck. “That shit stings already.” Jared poked him again, giggling and darting away before he could retaliate. He yanked open the passenger door and leaped in. When Jensen climbed in, he told Jared, “You know, karma is the fact that we left your dogs inside all day. Your floor’s gonna be covered in dog shit.”

Jared moaned. He flopped across the truck’s bench seat, head landing deftly in Jensen’s lap. “You’re going to help me clean it up, right?” His eyes widened just enough to evoke a sympathetic puppy-eyed gaze.

Jensen laughed, about to say that he definitely would, but he was interrupted by the sudden flash of a camera from beside him. He blinked, startled, and turned towards the photographer. “What the-”

Jared sat straight up. He lowered the bill of his cap down over his forehead more and slid his sunglasses into place. “Fuck. Just start the truck and drive off.”

The photographer outside was tapping on the window, calling for Jared to look over again and asking who the driver of the truck was. Jensen looked petrified for a few seconds, then revved the engine and rolled away. Briefly, they caught sight of Clif approaching the man and crossing his arms threateningly. “That was really….do you think that was a bad idea? Going sailing today?” Jensen asked once they’d gotten onto the freeway. 

“No. Don’t worry about it. Clif will handle everything. He’s the best bodyguard in the world.” When Jensen didn’t reply, Jared put his hand over the other man’s knee. He squeezed gently and offered a small smile. “Plus, the pictures probably turned out boring and they won’t be able to spin anything crazy off of them to print.”

Jensen breathed out heavily. Then he smirked, voice amused. “What are you talking about? I thought you agreed that I’m very photogenic?”

The two of them laughed, but the tension was high in the cab. Jared didn’t know the entire story about Jensen’s ex, but he’d pieced enough together to know that the man had issues with paparazzi. He hated giving Jensen anything to worry about, but until he knew that he was ready to go public with everything, he wanted to stay off radar. He kept his hand protectively on the smaller man’s leg until they arrived back at Jared’s house. 

“Hey,” he said, as the truck was idling in the driveway. Jensen looked over at him, hat still firmly in place. Jared pulled his off and shook out his hair so he could see better. “Back there with the photographer. I just want you to know….well, I’m not ashamed to be seen with you, Jensen. It’s just…”

“Not the right time,” Jensen finished for him. He stared out into the twilight, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. “I know how this works, you know.” His jaw clenched.

Jared frowned. “No, that’s not exactly it, either.”

“Your agent? Your job? You’re concerned that being seen with me in public and that people might get the horrible truth? Jared Padalecki was seen late last night holding hands with some anonymous MAN and all his fangirls were crushed. Sound about right?”

“No! That’s not it at all! I don’t care who knows about us, but I need time to talk to the network so that this thing doesn’t get blown out of proportion!”

“I see,” Jensen said in a small voice. His eyes glittered in the darkness. “I didn’t know that this thing could get blown out of proportion. It seems pretty low-key to me. I mean, you haven't even said anything to anyone but your sister. Maybe that’s how it needs to stay.”

Jared blew out an indignant breath. "Let's go in and have a beer and talk this out. It's getting late."

"No."

“You’re not coming in?”

“I think it’s best that I didn’t.”

“But your stuff’s still…”

“I’ll get it another time.”

Jared scratched at the back of his head and picked up his hat and sunglasses off the floorboards. “Okay. I’ll just go but first….listen. Okay? I had a good time on the boat today. I don’t want you to leave here with bad memories about this day just because of the last hour or so. And if telling my family about us will make you understand that I want you to be here, then consider it done. I loved every second of today until…well...I want to remind you that I'm not your past and I'm not that asshole you won't tell me about. I want this to be done right because I can't afford to lose you, Jen." When he got no response, he sighed. "I’ll call you, okay?” 

Jensen nodded sharply, hands back on the wheel. Jared ambled up to his door with his head down, and when he heard Jensen’s truck roar to life and drive away, he couldn’t stop the tightness in his chest from throbbing. He decided he’d make this right between them. He couldn’t lose the best thing he’d had in his life.


	11. Let's Get This Whole Thing Refocused, Shall We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *POSSIBLE TRIGGER - IMPLIED PREGNANCY LOSS*

Jared's agent left him an urgent voicemail on Monday afternoon, as Jared was wrapping up an intense scene with Christian. The mid-season finale was wrapping up in a matter of days and the episodes were becoming increasingly long to shoot and complicated as far as stunts went. Jared was happy to have a few minutes where he wasn’t thinking in his character’s head space, so he went to his agent’s office as soon as he could the next day. 

“Jared, we have a situation,” the sharp-dressed man told him, wearily shuffling papers on top of his desk. 

“A situation?”

“I’m not sure how to broach this subject with you, but there’s been rumors going around that you’re entertaining a male friend quite often?”

Jared arched an eyebrow at him. “I do have friends, you know. That are guys.”

“Yes, well….it’s just that this rumor that I’ve recently heard is that you and this particular friend are very close.”

Jared swallowed thickly. “What exactly are you implying?”

The agent put down a stack of photos that had been printed from a crappy home printer, pointing at the blurry image of Jared and Jensen on the boat. It seemed like a fairly innocent, friendly photo. Both men were on opposite sides of the boat, Jensen playing his guitar and Jared pointing his phone at him with a goofy look on his face. 

“And? That doesn’t look too cozy for guy friends to me.”

The agent flipped through to another photo. This one showed Jensen tickling Jared’s ribs as they laughed together on the floor of the boat. Their faces were close enough that they were sharing breath and their legs were twined together almost intimately. The photo was grainy at best, but there was no denying that it was Jared. And they certainly looked pretty chummy for guy friends… He picked it up to look at it more closely. 

“I still don’t get what you’re implying, John. Or what exactly it has to do with you.”

“Look, Jared. I’m not saying that you can’t be friends with who you want to be friends with. Hell, I don’t care who you hang out with at all. I’m just saying, for the network and your job, you need to be a little more discreet.”

“So you think I shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with who I want to? That if I did happen to sleep with another man that it would cost me my job?”

John held up one long-fingered hand. “Who you sleep with is your business. But until you decide to either quit the show or come out officially, you should really try to make sure it’s no one else’s business either. Network’s just started pitching “Drive” towards the younger female demographic and if you suddenly start flaunting the fact that the new fans aren’t your type...well….the show would lose viewership and you’d be out of job a lot sooner. Besides, you’d not get once ounce of peace if your sexual preferences were leaked without a statement from you or the network.” When Jared took a breath to speak, John continued. “Does your friend really want to have the press all over him 24 hours a day, Jared?”

“No,” Jared said solemnly. “That’s probably his worst nightmare, actually.”

"Do you even know anything about this man? I'm talking from a totally professional aspect, of course."

"What are you even talking about? He's a musician."

John laid his hands flat across the photos, face concerned, but serious. "Jared, about 3 years ago, there was a nasty rumor going around L.A. that your friend Jensen was secretly seeing Tom Welling. Now, I wasn't involved in any of that personally or professionally, but it was quite a nasty allegation considering that Tom was engaged to his now-wife at the time. There were even rumors about Jensen trying to blackmail Tom when he wouldn't go public with their relationship. I wouldn't want that to happen here."

Jared swallowed thickly. "You said these are just rumors, though. You don't have any proof."

"I don't."

"Then stay out of it and let me handle Jensen. I don't think he'd do that. I trust him."

"I see," John replied, professional facade sliding back into place. “Then let’s get this whole thing refocused, shall we?” He cleared his throat, tidied the pile of photos, then sent them through the shredder next to his desk. 

John urged Jared to make some more public appearances. Not only would it be good for him professionally, but it would also give the bottom feeders something positive to talk about so they wouldn't have to dig for news. He could go alone, no harm, no foul. Jensen could stay under the paparazzi radar and Jared wouldn’t have to face a very intimidating press conference about who he’d prefer to sleep with. He’d not even told his family about Jensen officially yet. Jared hemmed and hawed before taking the list of functions and events he'd been invited to (carefully color coded for ease of decision making). It didn’t make him feel like he was in control at all and he found himself wanting to crumple the whole thing up so he never had to attend anything. 

As he'd sat in the Range Rover on the way home that evening, Clif made a suggestion. "Why don't you get some eye candy to hang off your arm for those things? It would make it seem less suspicious and maybe get these damn suits off your back for longer."

Jared scoffed. "But Jensen would never...."

“I’m not talking Jensen here, Jay. Unless you’re ready for that kind of press.” When Jared didn’t immediately respond, Clif cleared his throat roughly. “And, not that’s it’s a whole shit ton of my business, but maybe you are ready for that. Maybe your career is stable enough for you to be honest. Maybe you’re stable enough for that kind of announcement. In that case, go for it. I’ll back you up.”

Jared shrugged. “I don’t know about that yet, Clif. John seems to think that it would bomb the show. And I’m sure as hell not ready to give up on it yet. But I’m certain that Jensen’s not ready to deal with all the crazy reporters hanging off of him every second of every day. Not sure he’d be ready for me to flaunt some girl around at events, though, either.”

"Jensen would understand. It's acting. It's what you do. Find a girl who'd play along and needs the same arrangement for herself. Friends helping friends. That way, you and Jensen can go back to being the 'best buddies' ruse and not become the hottest gay scandal."

"I don't do lying. And Jensen deserves better than to be a secret."

Clif frowned at him in the rearview mirror. "He does. But he also deserves to not be treated like the latest town gossip. Either find a girl to help you out, or come clean to the network, your family, and yourself." As he turned onto the freeway, he sniffed noisily to catch Jared’s attention. “By the way, I wasn’t implying that you should ever keep something like this from Jensen. That’s a shitty thing to do to a guy.”

Jared, who was lost in his own thoughts, hmmmed in agreement and stared off at the lights of the city as they passed by.   
~*~  
"So my agent asked me to get the press refocused," Jared commented, selecting a soda from Jensen's fridge and plopping down beside him on the couch. 

"Yeah?"

Jensen was concentrating hard on the laptop in front of him, typing away at a report that was due in the morning. He brow was furrowed, glasses perched on his nose, and his lip was caught between his teeth, causing Jared to feel a rush of desire. He took a drink of his beverage to keep from jumping the working man.

"Yeah, he said I should go to more events. And he asked if I would show up with someone to get the press off our backs."

"Uh-huh..."

"I decided to ask Genevieve because she's like the only actress who was on the show before and who I could actually find myself wasting hours with, ya know? I mean, these damn things last forever and it would be miserable to spend it with someone like Cecily or Mandy because they literally talk about hair products all the time...and you're so not listening to me."

Without looking up from his screen, Jensen spoke. "Hair products, Genevieve, events, John's making you spend hours with people you don't want to so the press will get off our asses."

Jared blinked. "Creepy, man."

"It's called multitasking. And you better be damn proud that I have that skill because I have to pay rent in a week and this report's not getting done." He smirked. "Also, that skill comes in handy in the bedroom - in case you forgot."

"I haven't forgotten. I'll be quiet." 

Jared waited until Jensen had saved the report and closed the laptop before speaking again.

"John mentioned some stuff about Tom the other day..."

Jensen's face went white and he crossed his arms protectively across his chest. "Yeah? What did he have to say?"

"He said there were rumors about you two before he got married. That you had a sexual relationship and were trying to blackmail Tom when he wouldn't come out and make your relationship public. I told him that I didn't believe him."

"Why not?" Jared looked at Jensen stunned. "I mean, you don't know anything about me and Tom. It could be true for all you know about it."

"It doesn't sound like you, Jen. I mean, blackmail?"

"What if I needed money to pay rent? What if I had to pay back some loan shark? You don't know shit about Tom Welling and I."

"I know. That's why I mentioned it to you. Thought maybe you could clear up some stuff about it and then I could know why you're so defensive all the time!"

Jensen stalked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer, opening it and chugging half before coming up for air. He leaned his forehead against the cool front of the appliance. He sighed. 

"I'm not good at explaining this because that asshat did a number on me, I swear. I don't trust people because of him, Jared, and especially people like you."

"Like me?"

"Actors who are in the limelight and wanting fame and fortune. People who come out here with the thought of looking out for number one."

"Wow. So glad to know you think so highly of me," Jared said sharply. "Maybe I'll just go and leave this be."

"No," Jensen said, turning to face Jared with fury in his eyes. "You wanted to know, so I'll tell you. I'll tell you my side of the story and you can decide then if what your agent and the Hollywood fucks say is true or what I remember is.

"I was young and dumb. Doesn't matter how we met or how we fell into each other, but Tom and I were a thing. I thought it was more than it was, obviously, because I went along with all the bullshit he wanted me to. Like taking separate cars to and from dates or meeting one of his distant family members to take me on a romantic weekend.

"He never had any intention of coming out to the public about us. He was using me for his own pleasure, but didn't want me around for the world to see. I was naive. I thought he loved me. Funny thing about actors - they can make you believe anything."

He trailed off, face sad and eyes distant. Jared was afraid to move to him, thinking it would jolt him out of his recollection. He sat waiting, instead.

Jensen took a deep pull on his beer before continuing.

"It was when we were on vacation in the mountains. I was stupidly in love and looked past the privacy as Tom wanting to be intimate and special for just us. I thought he was going to propose to me. He'd been talking about the future so much - I was just so fucking doe-eyed that I didn't hear that I wasn't featured in any of his scenarios. 

"We had a wonderfully romantic weekend, spent mostly in bed and mostly without protection. I hadn't thought anything about it because hell, what are the chances that I'd end up pregnant, you know? And we were gonna get married anyway, so who really cared? Shotgun weddings aren't all that uncommon, really.

"But he told me on the last day that it was the last weekend with me. He didn't want to see me anymore. He was going to publicly propose to his co-star - a woman, no less - and he needed me to back off and keep discreet."

"Oh, Jen..."

"That's not the worst of it. Six weeks after this massive breakup that I couldn't even talk about to anyone, I discover I'm pregnant. So I make arrangements through Tom's office to meet a friend of a friend so we can have a conversation. 

"His face, though. I will never forget that fucker's face. He looked like he was going to puke when I told him. Like I just told him that I had high-definition video of us fucking that I had uploaded to his grandparents. He panicked. And he ran.

"Then, a week after that? He had Mike bring me a check to cover abortion costs and to keep my mouth shut. About everything. Mike was his new side-fling. His male co-star, which made it easier to get away with since they had so much in common career wise. His wife wouldn't be able to complain if he was at Mike's for a weekend when they told her they were running lines, right?"

Jensen paused, finishing off his beer and tossing the bottle in the trashcan. Jared winced at the loud sound. 

"That asshole left with a black eye and about three dozen pieces of shredded check."

"Good for you," Jared said quietly.

"Yeah. Yeah....I was gonna move back home and raise the baby...you know, me and the rugrat at home with Grandma and Pops. Down home country boy knocked up and kicked out of L.A., just like everyone predicted, right? Well, guess what? Chris found me when I was around 11 weeks along, passed out in the bathroom in a puddle of blood. Baby didn't make it. Hell, doctor said I was lucky I'd made it."

"Jen..."

Jared strode over to Jensen and enveloped him in his arms. Jensen stayed rigid in the embrace, eyes dry and face slack. Jared stroked his face with both hands.

"Jen, I'm so sorry that happened to you, baby." He held Jensen for a long time, neither one talking anymore. When Christian came home around midnight, he took one look at the pair of them, urged them to go to bed, and called Jensen's mother.

"He's gonna need you, Mrs. Ackles. The floodgates just opened about Tom....and I think he's headed for something good with Jared. He's the only one besides you and I that know that story. Yeah, I know. He's one in a million, that Jared. I won't let on that you know. You do the same. Night, Mrs. Ackles."


	12. Quite The Actor, Mr. Padalecki

Jared adjusted his tie, frowning in the mirror for what felt like the fiftieth time. “Do you know how to tie this damn thing?” He pulled it loose again and turning to Jensen, who was typing something out on his laptop. 

“Bow tie? Yeah, come here.” Jensen’s fingers deftly tied the black material into a perfect bow. Then, he leaned close to Jared’s neck, inhaling deeply. “You smell fantastic. Where are you going again?”

“Some event for Teen Vogue. I don’t even know. John set it up.” He wrapped his arms around Jensen’s waist, holding him to his body tightly. “Hopefully it won’t take too long and I’ll be back here by midnight. You’ll be done with your report by then, right?”

“Why? You have plans for me?”

“Maybe.” Jared pressed a soft kiss to Jensen’s lips, moaning when he felt the tentative brush of warm tongue at his mouth. He allowed the kiss to linger for a few more moments before he pulled away, panting. “I’d better get going.”

“Yeah, don’t want to wrinkle you,” Jensen winked. “Your escort might not be too impressed with a rumpled man.”

Jared let himself be pulled back into another deep kiss, stopping only when he could feel himself becoming hard in his slacks. He rested their foreheads together, breathing slowly. “I wish I didn’t have to leave right now.”

“Me, too.” Jensen’s face looked resigned, full lower lip nearly pouting. Jared ran a finger over it, tilting his lover’s face back up to his. “You know I’m coming back here tonight, right? That this is just a publicity thing. I’m not interested in Genevieve in a romantic way.”

Jensen’s eyelids shuddered. “Yeah,” he whispered. He tugged his face out of Jared’s hands and stepped back a bit. He fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist, not making eye contact with Jared. “Your agent told you to go to events and so you’re going to an event. It’s not a big thing.”

Jared’s phone began buzzing in his pocket, which aborted his move to Jensen’s side. “Shit, there’s Clif. I gotta go.”

Jensen gave him a sad smile, but swatted him on the backside as he left. “Say hi to your actress friend for me.”

“Will do.”

~*~  
Jared took a deep breath, gave a shaky nod to the person next to him in the limo, and ducked out of the opened door onto the thin red carpet. Flashbulbs went off rapidly and he managed a large dimpled smile and wave towards the crowds. From behind him, his guest exited the limo. More flashes and cheers from the crowd as he turned to offer a hand.

"Quite the actor, Mr. Padalecki," Genevieve murmured into his ear. "Doing well so far."

He turned a slightly nervous glance down at her, leaned in to her ear, and the photographers snapped away, hoping to catch a great shot of the newest couple on the carpet. "Only four more hours, an on-stage speech, and red carpet interviews to go. I’ve spent the last few months either on set or with Jensen. What if I slip up and I start babbling about everything the network didn’t want me to mention? What if I wax poetic about his dick?"

Genevieve hid her laughter behind a demure hand. "You've got this. And screw the network. Just stick to the mundane and you’ll be fine." She shook her long dark curls out behind her and turned to the crowds. "Take me to meet the press, Mr. Padalecki."

Jared pressed a light palm to the small of her back as he guided her to the first set of roving reporters, dimples flashing.

“Jared! Jared! Over here! Jared!!!” 

He smiled tensely at the short red-head who was pushing a microphone at him. Behind her, a stocky man was holding a camcorder that bore the Seventeen magazine logo. He pointed it at Jared and Genevieve, red light flashing. 

“Hi! I’m Dani, top entertainment reporter for Seventeen magazine,” the woman chirped. “How are you tonight?”

“Good, I’m good.” 

“Great! We haven’t seen you at many teen events in the past year or so. What made you decide to come to the party this evening?”

“Uh, well, it seems like a good time to come out and say hello to the fans.”

“Well, you’ve come to a great event for that! We’re broadcasting live over the Seventeen magazine video blog feed. Wave to all your fans on the internet, Jared!” He nodded his head in acknowledgement of the camera, suddenly nervous. Dani smiled brightly at him before casting a look at the woman beside him. “And who have you brought with you? This isn’t Sandy, correct?”

Jared felt a pinch in his gut as he remembered that the last event he’d attended was one where he and Sandy had announced their engagement. He swallowed thickly, feeling his face lose color where he stood. Genevieve stepped forward, long bronzed leg peeking out from the slit in her ivory dress. She smiled spectacularly. 

“I’m Genevieve Cortese,” she explained, one hand holding onto Jared’s elbow in reassurance. “Jared and I worked together on ‘Drive’ a year or so ago. I played Serena Talcom.”

“Oh!” Dani exclaimed, reached her arm out to place the microphone closer to Genevieve’s face. “Yes, I remember. You guys had that steamy love scene in the cab before you were captured by the mob. Great storyline, guys. Wow, what a pleasure to meet you!” She flicked her long red hair over her shoulder, directing her attention back to Jared. “So, have you two been a couple since then or is this a recent development? I haven’t seen anything of you two outside of this evening….”

Jared wobbled slightly, mouth tensing. Genevieve blinked up at him, quickly recovering her surprised face and blending it into amusement. “Well, actually, that’s a funny story,” she began, cheeks flushing. She squeezed at his elbow harder, silently begging him to make something up.

“Ooo….do tell!”

Jared stared at the blinking light on the camera and at Dani’s shining, inquisitive smile before looking back down at his escort. He made sure that his face was away from the camera just enough. “I can’t lie,” he said softly. “I just can’t do it, Gen. I can’t make up a story of how we became a couple.”

Genevieve lifted her hands from his elbow and patted him gently on his shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to. Don’t let John or the network hold you back from doing what you need to do, Jared.” She tapped lightly at the flesh at the base of his wrist. “I’m just here for the food.” 

“What was that?” Dani asked, pushing the microphone even closer to him. “I can’t hear very well with all the racket.” To her cameraman, she pointed behind Jared. “Looks like Stephen Amell is making the rounds.” She pursed her lips and directed her attention back to Jared. “Just a little tidbit for the website, please? Your fans would love to hear a more personal story.”

Jared took a deep breath. He cleared his throat and pulled his wrist free of his suit coat, just enough to see the bracelet laying there. He thought back to Jensen’s upset face as he was leaving and he made up his mind to make it right. “Well, you see…I’m a believer in destiny,” he began. Genevieve grinned. She nodded, encouraging him to continue. “And I’ve been fortunate enough to find a once in a lifetime relationship. One that people write songs about.”

“I can’t tell you much more about it, but know that I’ve found what fate has designed for me and we’re very happy now. In fact, I’m pretty sure that when I get done with this event, I’ll be talking to my agent about setting up an official statement.” He looked into the camera’s lens, face finally softening and worry slipping away. “I love you, Jen. I hope you know that.” 

A roar of screaming fans at the small area of red carpet beside them brought Jared back from where he’d been. Genevieve offered a dazzling smile and took his hand. “Very brave, Jared,” she told him. He shook his head lightly to clear it, then excused himself, walking briskly past the remaining reporters and back to where Clif was waiting. 

Dani squealed in delight, applauding around her microphone and asking her cameraman if he had gotten that. When Dani started expressing her congratulations to Genevieve, who was still standing in front of the camera, the actress cut her off quickly. “I’m not the Jen he’s talking about. And it’s not my place to explain anything else about it. Just know that Jared Padalecki is head over heels about someone. And that someone is pretty special.”


	13. My Everything's Right Here

“Are you gonna answer your fucking phone?” Christian hollered through Jensen’s closed door, one fist rapping loudly at the wood. “Or do I have to kick this damn door in and answer it for you?”

Jensen groaned, rolling over in his bed. He flung his hand out, jabbed his finger at the power button on his cell phone, and then tossed it onto a pile of laundry nearby. “It’s OFF. Now shut the fuck up so I can sleep!” He shoved his head underneath his pillow, sighing. Blessed silence. Wonderful peace. His eyes drifted closed as his body readied itself for sleep.

The silence lasted all of thirty seconds before the sharp click of the lock being picked floated through the air and Christian coughed. Jensen refused to move his head from beneath his pillow. “Dude! What the fuck died in here? It reeks!”

“Go ‘way.” 

“No. You’ve been in here for days and I’m getting sick from the stench wafting down the hallway. Not to mention that you’re interrupting my beauty sleep on a fucking Saturday by not answering your phone.” Christian strode across the room, picking up the discarded telephone from the floor, and turned it back on. He frowned at the number of missed calls and unread text messages from Jared. “Seriously? You’re just done?" He poked at Jensen’s bare foot, which was sticking out of the covers. “That’s fucked up, Ackles.”

“You don’t know anything about it.”

“So enlighten me.” Christian shoved at Jensen’s leg so he could climb up on the bed beside him. “I’m not fucking leaving until you talk to me. And if that’s not incentive enough, then I’ll just put in a call to this person in your emergency contacts….her name is mom.”

Jensen sat up, scowling and wrapping the comforter around his body tightly. “Give me my phone,” he growled. 

Christian tossed the phone down next to Jensen, watching as the other man tapped away at the screen. Finally, he lifted it up so that Chris could see what was on it. 

A photo of Jared and Genevieve on the red carpet popped up, both looking poised and polished for the cameras. Chris shrugged.

"So? You knew about this. Hell, you helped him get dressed for this. What the fuck's the problem?"

"Scroll down, numb nuts."

Below the photo was a short blurb, written by Dani Harris for Seventeen magazine. It told of what the couple in the photo were wearing and what shows they represented at the event, reminding the readers that they had played lovers on "Drive" in a past season. Then, there was a link to a video, reading: Jared Padalecki Reveals His Love For Gen on the Carpet!

He clicked the link and watched as Jared confessed his love for a person named Jen to the camera. He shook his head. "This doesn't make any fucking sense, Ackles. Man's head over heels for you."

"But he's still never made it public knowledge. Hell, he's never even mentioned me to his parents." Jensen sniffed, taking the phone back and closing the app. "I'm not up for history repeating itself."

"Whatever," Christian said, walking back to the door. "You wallow in your make-believe drama. But open a fucking window so the stench gets let out."

Jensen laid motionless for several moments under the covers, feeling his heart clench with emotion. Finally, he picked up his phone and dialed a number. 

"Hello, mom? It's Jensen. Yeah, I think I want to come home for a while."

~*~  
Jared showed up on Sunday morning with a small cloth grocery bag in his hands. Inside held the few things Jensen had left at his place: a toothbrush, ratty copy of The Outsiders with pencil scrawlings in the margins, a few DVDs, a black shirt that still smelled of him. On the top, Jared could see the thin coil of leather that used to wrap around his wrist. 

Jared had a hard time placing that inside, stubbornness finally taking over and tearing it from his skin and shoving it into the bag. Halfway to the apartment, at a random red light, he shoved his hand into the bag and retrieved it. He stared at it, heart beating slow and even, until someone behind him blared their horn. He'd tossed it into the bag and sped off. 

Now, spying it atop the random collection of items, he felt as if his insides were again hollowed out and he hesitated knocking on the door. He knew Christian had assured him that Jensen would be out, but it still stung to be here. Taking a deep breath, he reached out a fist and knocked sharply on the wood.

When the door swung open, it was a punch to the gut. Jensen stood, face unshaven and hair in disarray, his mouth tensing into a small pucker at the sight of Jared. He looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks, but he was nonetheless still beautiful. He was wearing sleep pants that sat low on his hips and a white tee shirt loose on his frame. Jared ignored the flush of warmth that went through his own body at the sight and dragged his eyes towards the threadbare hallway carpet. 

"I, uh....Christian said you had a thing today, so you'd be out...he said you were moving back to Dallas?" 

"Uh, yeah. Thinking about it. Haven't really got a reason to stay, you know? My music could take off back home if the right person shows up at a gig. And it's not like I'm tied down here."

Jared winced. "But, I thought we were..."

"You thought we were what? An item, Jared? I thought so, too, until I realized that you were just like Tom. I'm always going to take a backseat to your career and you're just looking to string me along. I can't do that again."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Really? Tell that to the press next time you go to an event with someone who's not me just to save your career."

"You know what? I was honest about going to the event with Genevieve. I've never been anything but honest with you, Jensen. I told that reporter how I felt about you and it came out all twisted. I even set up an appointment with John to make an official statement because I fucking love you and I'm sick of lying to everyone else about not. And you're so jaded that you can't see it. So fine." He thrust the bag outwards towards the other man. When he felt Jensen take it, he snatched his hand back as if burned. "That's some stuff you left at the house. Thought you might want it back." He spared a glance at Jensen.

The older man was staring down into the depths of the bag, breath coming out of his open mouth in a shuddery spasm. One hand let go of a handle and pulled the bracelet out of the bag. He ran his long callused thumb down the braided leather, eyes squeezing shut tightly before dropping it back into the bag. He let the bag drop down onto the floor, contents spilling out around his bare feet. When he looked up at Jared, his face had taken on an ashen color.

"I just...I can't do this anymore, Jared," Jensen sighed, hands hanging limply at his sides. His face was twisted in a mask of pain: eyes downcast, brow furrowed, and lips curved down in a way that made Jared's insides squirm. "I really just can't...."

Jared tried to clear his throat from the giant lump that had suddenly appeared. "Yeah. I get that," he agreed. He blinked away the stinging behind his eyes, taking a step back. "It was....it was nice seeing you again. I'm sorry I..." He motioned with one hand towards of the looming, darkened hallway of the building. "I'll just get out of your hair."

"No."

Jensen said it so low that Jared thought maybe he hadn't heard him correctly. He looked at Jensen through the fringe of his loose hair, hand holding his keys so tightly that he felt the pinch of them cutting into his palm. "No?" he asked, voice hoarse.

Jensen's eyes were red rimmed and shimmered ever so in the dim light, but he stood up a bit straighter as he said it again. "No." He sniffed lightly, looking directly into Jared's eyes. "I can't lose you again. I won't do it. If you're not here to stay, I don't know what I'm going to do." 

Jared felt his body deflate, air leaving his lungs in a rush to escape, as if it were holding all the despair and angst that was holding him back these past few weeks. "You.....you really mean that?" His voice was shaking - hell, his whole body had tremors flowing through it. At Jensen's nod, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the other man, holding as tightly as he could. He heard his keys clatter off one of the DVD cases, but he paid them no mind. 

Jensen let out a sharp whimper. His arms fell around Jared's shoulders and squeezed, his ribs quaking with his desire to hold back the sobs. "God, I love you so much...and I just can't believe you'd give up everything for me..." His voice wavered with every word and Jared felt his own eyes burn with tears.

"Shhhhh, no, baby. It's okay, Jen. I won't leave again. I promise. I'm here," he whispered, hot breath ghosting over Jensen's ear and sparking a full body shiver. "I'm not giving up everything. My everything's right here."

Jensen nuzzled his face into Jared's neck, inhaling deeply and pressing his lips softly to the tanned skin under Jared's earlobe. "I missed you so much," he murmured. His lips teased goosebumps to raise across Jared's body. Jared cocked his head to the side so that he could feel more of the lips he'd missed so much the past weeks. Nibbles and soft cat-like licks across the soft skin made his body thrum with arousal. He sighed out in pleasure, arms tightening around Jensen.

An echoing click of another apartment door down the hall opening made both men startle, Jensen immediately sliding his arms free and pulling his face away from the spot he'd been worrying with his lips. Instead of pulling away himself, Jared shoved Jensen next to the apartment door with his body, refusing to let go. He left the door open and his body situated so he was more recognizable, not concerned with the approaching tenant. There was no way he was going to allow Jensen to break this reunion off. He'd been denied this too long.

"Shhhh," he repeated, feeling his heartbeat increase with the sound of a rolling suitcase and heavy footfalls in the hallway. Jared fought his body's flight reaction, however, and he took a deep breath to calm himself. Jensen twisted his body, trying to get away from him, but Jared wasn't having it. He tightened his arms more. "Stay still. Jen, look at me." 

Jensen went slack in his arms, eyes finally meeting Jared's. There was fear there, a fear that used to be echoed in Jared's eyes. But now, even with the prospect that they could be seen by the person passing by, Jared couldn't let that fear tear him from Jensen. He couldn't help himself - he had to try to dispel that anxiety. He surged forward and pressed his lips to Jensen's, soft groan at the familiar touch and taste. Jensen tensed for a brief second, then allowed Jared's mouth to mold to his comfortably. One hand tentatively reached out and grasped Jared's bicep. There would be no denying to the passerby that they were kissing, that they had found a home in each other's arms. Jared felt the increase in Jensen's pulse as the footsteps neared the door, but they stayed entwined, sharing breath and space, eyes closed to the world. 

The footsteps went past the doorway and continued down the hallway with no indication of noticing the kissing couple. As they heard the clang of the metal lobby door closing, Jared smiled against Jensen's mouth and hefted the other man inside the apartment. He used one hand to close the door firmly behind them and then crowded Jensen against the living room wall, feeling the older man's "oof" as his back found purchase. He pulled away long enough to take in the flush that colored Jensen's cheekbones and the heaving chest that drew in fast breaths between his large hands.

"I've done a lot of thinking about things these past few weeks without you, Jen," he told him softly, hazel eyes meeting green. "You know how I was always worried about the network and my agent and people in general?"

Jensen nodded, still not having found his breath.

"I've decided that those people can fuck off." Jared moved back so that he could again feel Jensen's soft mouth under his. "I'm happiest when I'm with you, Jensen. And if that means I lose my job, so be it. I don't ever want to be without you again." He cupped Jensen's jaw with one hand, thumb sliding gently across the full bottom lip.

Jensen whimpered beneath him. "Me, either."

Jared grinned, dimples flashing, and took Jensen's mouth once more. He teased his tongue at the perfect bow lips under his. Eagerly, Jensen opened and the kiss turned hungry and wet.

"Wait," Jared said, panting against his lover's lips. "I just have to do something real quick."

He fished his phone out of his pocket, swiping his thumb down the list of names until he landed on one. He pressed it waiting for the person to pick up on the other end.

"Hey, mom. It's Jared. Yeah...fine now. Actually, there's something I want to ask you....is there any way we can get together in a few weeks? Yeah. Well, actually, if Jensen's agreeable, I was hoping a wedding?"

Jared had to hold the phone away from his ear because his mother's enthusiastic screaming was much too loud. He cocked an eyebrow at Jensen. "So....whaddya say, Jen? Feel like making it official?"

Jensen fell into Jared's arms, mouths meeting in a messy tangle and tears streaming down his face. It wasn't the perfect proposal or the perfect situation, but damn, if it wasn't the perfect person for him...


	14. Epilogue

"I brought you some exclusive photos, if you're interested," Jared said, voice rough from talking so long. It had been well over an hour of him telling the story of the relationship between Jensen and he. The reporter sat almost motionless for most of that, only pausing to change tapes once. She sat up straighter when he mentioned the photos.

"Photos of what?"

"Our wedding service."

"Really? Wow! Yes, I'm interested."

Jared chuckled. "I know there isn't any official photos from that day and I think-we think it's time to show what a happy couple looks like. For real."

He dug around in the messenger bag at his feet, producing a short stack of high quality photographs of him and Jensen. The two of them smiling and laughing in matching tuxedos, holding up their arms to show off identical leather bracelets, kissing under a natural swag of evergreen in Jensen's parents' backyard.

It had been a small affair, just around fifty family and friends gathered in the yard to celebrate. Their mothers had hugged each other and cried, cooed over the babies that would come, and planted a pair of oak trees by the edge of the property in the boys' names.

"These are gorgeous," the reporter breathed, holding them delicately as not to smudge them. "My editor is going to flip out when I tell her that you gave these to me to print."

Jared smiled. "Well, she'll probably promote you when she finds out that we've decided to give you the option of an exclusive spread once Kismet arrives."

"Kismet?"

"Our daughter." Jared's face softened and if you'd asked the reporter later, she'd say he glowed. "We're naming our daughter Kismet....it's sort of a nod to the Fates and destiny. She's here because of so many random happenings that can't possibly be random at all. Destiny exists..."

The reporter grinned. "Yes, I believe it does. Your family is a testament to that." She clicked off the tape recorder, tucked it and her notes in her bag, and stood to leave. “Off the record….can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Jared agreed, standing and walking with her towards the door. “I’ve decided from now on, I’m an open book.”

“Well, actually, it’s about Jensen.”

“Oh. I can ask him…”

The reporter looked down at her feet, gathering her courage. “Would it be okay…I mean…I found this video online the other day…it was posted by Steve Carlson. It’s a video of your husband singing a beautiful song on a boat and in the studio. I was just wondering if I could add that to our article? You know, to kind of show to people who exactly Jensen Ackles-Padalecki is?”

Jared blushed. “I took some of that video, actually. And to be honest with you, I think he’d be flattered that you’d include that. But…”

“There’s always a ‘but’,” she sighed, looking dejected.

He flashed her his dimples. “But I’m afraid you’re going to have to ask more than just Jensen. He got signed about a month ago with an indie label. Small company out of L.A., working with him during the pregnancy. They have him ready to record a CD for the public when he gets finished with his paternity leave.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“Yeah, it is.” Jared pulled a card out of his back pocket. “Here’s his agent’s name and number. Feel free to call and talk it over with him. Incidentally, it’s my new agent as well.”

She turned the card over in her hand, puzzled look on her face. “Is this…really?”

“We trust him and he’s ready to take a leave of absence so he can focus on his own music. Man can jam out with the best of them…who know? Plus, what can I say? Christian Kane can’t keep himself out of our business.”  
~*~

 


End file.
